Update!

Sunday 11:20 p.m.
It's a week since I stopped dancing the dance of death with the Nicotine Dragon. Once again. Tonight is the first night since then that I haven't had a drink.

I'm here to tell you, Jack, that I'm going to change my wicked ways. I've heard that before, Hotboy. At least, I shall relent for a little while.

Some dead old guy came to see me today. Dead old but not so old that he couldn't have parents still alive. One of them has just been parked in the loony bit due to the psychosis and the other is demented. You couldn't make it up.

I'm not doing that, Jack! Not if I can help it. What do you get if you want the wrong things again, Jack? Hotboy, is it not grief, sorrow, lamentations ... delusions, disappointments and despair ... suffering in this life? I think that's about it, Jack. I think that's just about the size of it.

I might be marching towards the sound of gunfire because I don't really know what I'm doing or where I'm heading with this juju, but all around the alternatives just seem too appalling to behold. Old flatheids. Anything is better than being an old flatheid. Dearie, dearie me!

I'm getting hot just sitting here. Tsongkhapa says there are different kinds of heat, but the heat you seem to be looking for is that which occurs in the central channel. I'm getting all-over heat. When you are dealing, or meddling, with something as basic as how your body regulates heat, obviously there may be the potential for disaster.

Tilopa said to Naropa -after he'd given him the hardest of hard times - I will give you something which will enable you to prevail against the cold. This is the juju of jujus, the foundation practise for the Six Yogas of Naropa, and I think now it's really starting to work.

Trying to do this juju does not come easily to a joe like moi!

Early evening I did the five hills run. The diggings are just about finished. Everything is going to be a whole lot easier from now till I get paid again in ten days time. By then I hope to have learned to enjoy a spartan lifestyle.

Some hopes. At least, if you can't be good all the time, you can be good some of the time!