Wednesday, 30 June 2010

A piece of cheese?

Wednesday 11:10 p.m.
And so we entered the days of sobriety and dance once more the dance of death with the Nicotine Dragon. But I won't be bad tomorrow, Jack. You always say that, Hotboy. I know, Jack. One day it might be true.

Enter the realms of the hot bliss! This is an announcement for the spam robots who are following the five point plan for getting out of your face on air... We are now establishing ourselves in a new zone. Hurrah! The bliss body is changed once more. There is, for one thing, a lot more bliss. It just keeps rolling along. How could there be even more bliss?! God knows what it would be like if you could actually do this juju!

Apart from next Monday, I don't have go to the jobbie till August the 16th. I've been thinking about the hut. Geeing myself up. On the other hand, everything's working pretty well anyway. The last couple of weeks have been fantastico for ra bliss! I'm just going to have the most wonderful time whatever I do. Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss!

On Saturday, I'm going on a shopping spree with Poisonous for supplies for the hut. The only other thing in the diary is a two night stay in the tent down at the Samye with the Domestic Bliss. That's the weekend after next. I've got a few days beforehand for practising my Ben Gunn. Ar be Ben Gunn. Have ye a piece of cheese for a Christian man?

There are four people living here now. Three of them went out to the movies tonight. Hurrah! I've never had the bliss I had in the lobby when they were out. Or that much warmth. Take a breath and hold for a wee bit and then ... wonderful, wonderful sensations of bliss and warmth go caressing up inside you.

I have to remember to tell that to the gorgeous dakini fairy nymph babes when they make an appearance, Jack. Dream on, Hotboy. Dream on.

Sunday, 27 June 2010

Allotment shots!

Sunday 10:40 p.m.
The first poppy opened up among the tatties. Stray marigolds have recently been appearing along the side of the central path, but the colours don't come out on the camera. I started taking photies of the stuff I was able to eat today. Blackberries, I think. And strawberries. And raspberries from not a great year of raspberries and this maybe because I haven't now got a hose long enough to water them.

Fecund. This is a wonderful place to spend your life, so it is. I think the allotment might be so fecund because of the harsh winter we had, but who knows? I spent a good forty five minutes clearing the weeds, which seem to be called biomass, but maybe not, from between the ridges of potatoes. No one grows weeds in the whole of the allotments like my weeds. I'm agog this evening at how much they are and how fantastic they will be declining back into the ground with some plus.

The buddhist wummin says hullo. She's at the gate. That's where her allotment is. She was not facing away and bending down as I walked passed tonight.I was just trying to walk past. I know she has a wonderful butt. I do not think she wants to be the progenitor of lustful thoughts and I should be cool. So I'm walking past. She's been doing her botany josephine gig on this allotment for at least the two hours I'd spent sitting meditating among the weeds, but she's hustling me into a conversation, as they do. Or if you are lucky. Because it is not good to be on your own and everyone should talk to everyone even although ...

So she says she can only sit for about ten minutes before she has to get up when she's meditating on her own. She says before this year, every time she went to meditate with the nun, I was there....

Being brought up a kafflick really fungs you up. But it is also providing all the saving graces.

Having been monogamous since Moses was a lad, I cannot really say that I would like to hump this person. Just about anybody would do. No wonder everyone used to wear masks!

Just prior to this, in the hut, I was engaging with some serenity, some feelings of calmness and not having to do anything about anything. Li Ching-Yuen said tranquility was a prerequisite of longevity. So was sitting like a tortoise. Ever tried that one, Jack!? Sitting like a tortoise and walking like a spritely pigeon? I do not think so, Hotboy. Do you know what the Taoist joe told Genghis Khan about how he could live longer? Lay off the babes, Jack. Well, you have certainly done that, Hotboy. Just continue to lay off the babes!

I hope everyone who reads this thinks they're living a wonderful life. I certainly feel like that right now!

Ye of little faith!

Sunday 9:00 p.m.
In the Disbelieving Congregation, of which I am the sole member and single representative, we don't believe in faith. I found the next thing on a blog posted by a kid I know at Stirling Uni.

One day during a lecture, a Professor of Philosophy, who was also an Atheist, was speaking to his class about the problem science has with God. He asked one of his students to stand. This was their dialogue.

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor : So, you believe in God?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is God good?

Student : Sure.

Professor : Is God all powerful?

Student : Yes.

Professor : My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn’t. How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent)

Professor : You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is God Good?

Student : Yes.

Professor : Is Satan good?

Student : No.

Professor : Where does Satan come from?

Student : From…God…

Professor : That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor : So who created evil?

(Student did not answer)

Professor : Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world,
don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor : So, who created them?

(Student had no answer)

Professor : Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell
me, son… have you ever felt God?

Student : No, sir.

Professor : Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student : No, sir.

Professor : Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any
sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor : Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, science says your God doesn’t
exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor : Yes, faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor : Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor : Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t…

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no eat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop dilence in the Lecture Theatre)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor : Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light… But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor : So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student : Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed.

Professor : Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood, either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the
argument was going)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter)

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it?…
No one appears to have done so. So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable
Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The professor stared at the student, his face

Professor : I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir…Exactly! The link between man and God is faith. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

That student was Albert Einstein

I might as well stick in the comment I put on this though it's not quite as good!!!

I don’t do faith. I believe in ignorance and scepticism. I believe we have to suffer from misapprehension since we’ll only ever have a partial view of anything. There isn’t a god creator in buddhism, but buddhists are into non-duality.

Samsara and nirvana have the same reality in the state of ultimate awareness. To achieve ultimate reality, I mark everything with mahamudra, the Great Seal of Emptiness. This is the quintessence of non-duality. Milarepa.

So buddhists are into non-self and emptiness.
You don’t need faith to be good. But you do need compassion. I don’t think faith is necessary for me. Having faith in something outside yourself surely is duality. It’s based on the false sense of self that screws everybody up. There is only one big thing made up of lots of wee things. “God” is in everybody, everywhere. I am it. Absolute oneness.
So this is a countervailing view. This post is the best thing I’ve read in a blog for years! Hotboy

Saturday, 26 June 2010

Bliss Update!

Saturday 12:34 p.m.
Today the bliss and hotness have reached a new level. I feel as if I can call myself a proper vajrayana practitioner now though I couldn't dry off a handkerchief yet or visualise diddly squat. Hurrah!

This is wonderful!

Though I am not the author of my own good fortune, what a fortunate creature I am, I am! What a fortunate creature I am!

Hail to the Great Yajrayana, the Juju of Jujus!!

And I'll probably be spending quite a bit of the afternoon in the pub!

Friday, 25 June 2010

Hande hoch!

Saturday 1:20 a.m.

All you are is the result of all the thoughts you've had.

Experience is proceeded by mind, led by mind, and produced by mind.

One of my favourite things is to listen to the CDs of the Dhammapada at the foot of the auld maw's bed as she lies in the lion posture, dozing off and coming to. God knows what she makes of it, but she loves it.

So I had to lie flat out today due to gauching ... this is a junky term for crashing and coming to .. today since I came over all tired after the cycling through Lanarkshire. But the cycling through Lanarkshire today was better than it's ever been. I was calm. I was not anxious. I was mantra-ing away there in the moment. Thankful that because of the handful of goji berries I have eaten in this life that at almost sixty I could cycle this way at all. (Some people who don't really speak Scottish, who might be from abroad but speak English, don't do irony. Don't do humour. Never take it literally. Do I have to say that, Jack? Well, this is the Koran of the 22nd century, so be clear, Hotboy, be clear!)

So the auld maw was well pleased that Biff McDuck had helped produce her eleventh or twelfth great grand child. I was trying to count it up this evening. I think she has about twenty nine or thirty descendants running around the planet just now. Go forth and multiply. That's a lot of people.

I haven't got a problem with hating English people. I don't hate anybody, but I do enjoy sporting rivalries. That's not really true. I hate the huns. I don't like the British National Party. I don't like the knuckle dragging Rangers supporter who hate us back, but all in all I try not to hate anyone, and understand what a hard time it is for everyone to become someone, even for the huns.

Uber alles! Uber alles!

In a couple of days time, the Little Englanders (who were never as smart as the Chilly Jockos) play at footie against the Fatherland. Because of Adolf Hitler, I do not have as many relatives as I might have had. We'd be talking not one, but two football teams of great grand children of the auld maw by this time. So on Sunday, when the three lions take to the park against the nazi ice warriors, what can I say?

Come on, the huns! Come on, the huns!

This fortunate creature!

Saturday 1:10 a.m.
I'm the usual joe. The norm. All you have to do to be a bit happier is meditate. You don't have to be smart to meditate. The grief, sorrow, lamentations ... disillusionments, disappointments and despair ... suffering in this life is what you get if you don't meditate. Or you might get. This is plainly obvious. The photies were taken at the good mother's today. She is a very nice person and I'm happy to be of some kind of reassurance. Her and the old maw together make about 182 years. I'm pissed and there's no one else here, Jack, so I'll start again.

Thursday, 24 June 2010

Bliss Diary!

Thursday 9:25 p.m.
Tai chi set, headstand, dog pose, back bend ... ran to Costorphine and up yon great muckle hill in 1 hour 40 minutes ... made soup ....meditated so far for about five hours. The warmth checked in during the last one, just finished. Now, I'm away to visit the allotment. Really wonderful day so far. Just a great day! Really enjoyed the run. Despite the runnings and jumpings and giving up dairy, I don't seem to have lost an ounce!! Still twelve stone. Dearie me!

Goji Berries!

Thursday 7:05 p.m.
I think if I'm going to get any good as this juju, I'm going to have to live at least as long as Li Ching-yuen, so I went down to Waitrose looking for goji berries. I got a packet of mixed stuff. I was hoping to be able to germinate some of the berries, but the Domestic Bliss says they've been processed. Apparently, the bushes grow anywhere and you can buy them on the web, but I've never bought anything on the web, so it's back to the drawing board.

I bought soup stuff as well. In that pot are lentils, potatoes, cabbage, mustard greens, onion, carrot, broccoli ... kidney beans and chick peas ... salt, pepper, garlic, tumeric, coriander, curry powder, cumin ... and pasta sauce.

I had a photie extra so I took one of my guitar. I bought it from the pawn shop twenty years ago and it's been battered to death. I really need a new one. It's a copy of a hummingbird.

Thursday's Bliss Diary

Thursday 9:45 p.m.
Just after the first meditation of the day.

Things have started at such a high point. What a day I'm going to have!

Guru Yoga is a very difficult for me since I am so full of moi! But it is integral to this juju, being one of the skilful means.

Wonderments and amazingnesses may be mine today, but I'm not claiming that it's because of what I'm doing. I'm just trying to get onto the park in the hope that someone will pass me the ball. I don't think Lama Yeshe went into his darkness retreat last year, or did all those other solitary retreats, for himself. I think he did them for me. Maybe not just for me, but for me as well. Compassion and altruism is the basis of the path. You're not going to become the buddha that he surely is unless you've developed that. Sometimes today I've felt like he was the sun shining down on me. You've got to try to get your head into that space, I think. Plug yourself into the lineage that goes back to Milarepa, back to Shakymuni. This must help to get the moi out of moi!

These meditations tend to get better and better as the day goes on. Set your controls for the heart of the sun!

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

Mare Strange Folk

Wednesday 8:35 p.m.
After being intrigued by the buddha boy and Prahlad Jani, I came across Li Ching-yuen, who is supposed to have lived for over 250 years. Well, he might have lived till he was only 167 or so years, but his mother lost his birth certificate maybe!

He ate goji berries. I've never heard of goji berries. Maybe I could try growing a few bushes in the allotment. I wonder where I'd get the seeds. Anyway, he also did Qigong, which is a kind of tai chi, I think. The Taoists were into immortality, or becoming Immortals. I've never really understood Taoism. I mean, all I want to do, Jack, is to be able to emanate as a deity and then do a voluntary exit from my body. That's not asking for too much, is it? Why would anybody want to be immortal?

I was at the tai chi last night. You do a warm up, then a set of 108 moves (it's like a weird slow dance if you've never seen it) and then you have a break. Right at the end of the set, this joe comes up to moi, offers a handshake and says you look like a master.

I'm not any good at tai chi, but in the joe's defence he was just a beginner ... but afterwards thought this was a weird thing for one joe to say to another anyway. Then I remember putting something about masters and slaves into a dirty book I got published once and then I thought ... have I been getting chatted up by gay men all my life and never noticed?

A woman is never going to come up to you and introduce herself with a remark like that. You look like a master. Yeah? Hmmm?

Unlike the Iyengar yoga classes I used to go to, which were full of gorgeous bendy babes, and a great many with fabulous butts, I doubt if any of the women at the tai chi class are under sixty. The woman who teaches it was an old age pensioner fifteen years ago when I started going. She must be hitting eighty by now, and looks much the same actually. A wee sparrow, so she is. If the joe had decent eyes in his head he'd realise that she is a master of the 108 moves.

So I've got the verbal diarrhoea immediately when this joe starts talking to me. Strange flatheids make me nervous. It turns out he's a horticulturist. I asked him about the weeds. It seems I'm doing the right thing with the weeds as long as there aren't too many of them. He said something about biomass, whatever that is. He's involved in some ecology project in Portobello, hustling fruit trees into open spaces. He says he'd love to have an allotment. I told him I wanted to have a hut so I could sit in it. I can non-sequitur anybody, so I can. Just tell them you want a hut so you can learn to sit in it for days and days and days. Fung off, flatheids!

I was taking the weeds out from between the onions tonight. I found a strawberry the Domestic Bliss must have missed when she was up there last night. The lupins are turning into seed pods, passed their glorious best. They planted themselves as they have for years. I'm going to try seeding them in the slopes created by the disappearing ground.

Tomorrow, I will tell you about ra bliss, Jack! No jobbie tomorrow! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!

Monday, 21 June 2010

Monday night again!

Monday 9:40 p.m.
I swear I've only (so far) had one lemonade bottle of home brew and look at the photies. Doubles, triples ...more drinks coming up.

When I got back from the meditation I was at tonight, I did a session of six threes and then had the drink. Straight into the blood stream. Hurrah!

Folk who don't train and drink never get this. Me and my pal Gerry first experienced this after boxing training down at Meadowbank Stadium when I was just over my mid-twenties. Train for two hours, have two pints, and you're flying. Oh, well, I'll go and get another lemonade bottle then.

I went to the Theosophical Society building in Great King Street tonight for the first time in months ... maybe since last year ... to meditate with the nun.

I've got a lot of respect for the nun. The nun did the four year retreat. I've got a lot of respect for anyone who has done these big retreats. It must be like tempering steel. You won't be the same joe or josephine if you've put yourself through that.

She asked me where I'd been. Had I been in Edinburgh? I told her I'd been counting my pennies. She said to come along even if I was skint.

Due to spending all my money on drink and drugs, sometimes I haven't got much for the last two weeks of the month ... you don't go. You stay in. It's the pride that cometh before the next payday and the chance to get into the drink and drugs again.

But there were no flatheids in the room. Everybody was meditating for an hour. It's great that! It doesn't matter if you don't get the bliss or any of that malarkey yet. It's just being with people doing it. So that was great. I've got fifty quid left of my overdraft limit and I probably get paid in seven days. This is much better than usual. Usually, I've got twenty quid to do me over the last two weeks. Loaded, so I am. I hope to go back next week. It was great.

I'm really quite shy. I don't like talking about myself. This is because when I start telling folk about myself I sound fung amazing even to moi! Can write books, stand on his heid, do ra bliss, etc. Are there no end to the wonderments? Thank God I'm going to drink myself to death! It's the only thing I can do for the flatheids to give themselves a chance to smirk and sneer.

Oh, aye, he could write books, stand on his heid, do fabuloso shadow boxing at nearly sixty, and almost emanate as a deity, but what a stupid basturn ... he drank himself to death!

Actually, drinking yourself to death is too much like hard work. Eighty pints of home brew a month isn't going to do it unless I starve myself to death as well.

I'll be sixty next year. You should be dead by this time alreadys, Hotboy! I know, Jack! It's too late for me to drink myself to death. It's like saying a ninety year old drank himself to death. It's stupid. What age was Brendan Behan when he drank himself to death? I bet he wasn't over 48. You should get liver failure before you're thirty five if you're really going for it.

I'm nearly sixty, Jack! Isn't that wonderful. Took refuge at the age my old man died at. That's eight years in the gravy!! What a fortunate creature I am, I am! What a fortunate creature I am!

The fresh air photies were taken last night coming home from the park. The rest were at the Theosophical Society where I went to meditate tonight. One was from a leaflet showing the nun and the lama. One is of the copula at the top of the stairs. I came out much better than you'd think because of the wonky colours from the camera. The surrounds were actually light blue. I think the nun missed me. I said hullo, and as soon as the sitting finished, left straight away as usual. I'd like to be sociable, but if you start that, Jack, you end up invading Poland.

Saturday, 19 June 2010

Some photies

Saturday 6:20 p.m.
As I was leaving the allotment, the buddhist woman with the fabulous butt straightened up, turned round, and offered me a bunch of mustard greens. I have no idea what they are. I took a photie of them on the way home. The shopkeeper said you can steam them and eat them with lamb. I'll just eat them.

She has a fabulous allotment, this woman. She's young. She's American. I like American women. Some days you just like any kind of women. She asked me if I'd like to attend a medicine buddha puja this evening. They were going to have some eats afterwards. I demurred.

I'm so hot for you. I'm so hot for you. I'm so hot for you. And you're so cold. (The Rolling Stones) Yab Yum. Hmmm?

She said she was doing a PHd in Botany. I could have asked her about the weeds.

Just as well I've got leprosy, eh, Jack? It's a blessing in disguise, Hotboy. A blessing in disguise.

I had the first ripe strawberry of the year. Hurrah! It did taste fantastic!

Sympathy for the Devil!

Saturday 8:20 a.m.
I had a vivid dream this morning where I ended up trying to console Wayne Rooney, who was caught on camera last night complaining about getting booed by the English fans.

I wakened up this morning feeling very calm.

I like hearing the Liverpool accents of some of the English players like Gerrard and Carragher. I like working class English accents. It's the evil bourgeois southerners who stick in my craw. I think when I get acclaimed President of the Scottish Socialist Republic, which I expect to happen soon after I start floating about, I'll annex the whole of the north of England down to the Wash. I can segue from this petty nationalism into the class war no bother.

Wayne Rooney wears a rosary round his neck when he plays. He's one of us!

If the Little Englanders do get out of the group stage, we can see them crash and burn at some penalty shoot out later on.

Come on, the English basturns!

He's scouse!
He's fat!
He'll come and screw your flat!
Wayne Rooney! Wayne Rooney!

I fell off the wagon last night at half time so I could be more enthusiastic in my support for the Algerians.

You can run and cycle from here till doomsday, but if you eat and drink like that, you will stay a fat basturn, Hotboy!

Thursday, 17 June 2010

Fabulous Thursday!

Thursday 11:00 p.m.
What a wonderful day I've had! Some folk never have such a wonderful day in the whole of their naturals, so I am feeling like a very fortunate creature right now. Oh, what a fortunate creature I am, I am! What a fortunate creature I am!

I managed four hours meditations before lunch. I went out for flour supplies and made a loaf. I went up to the allotment and cut the grass down one side. It was an amazingly hot and sunny day for Chilly Jockoland. The reason why the teeshirt is hanging up in one of the photies is because it was wringing with sweat due to the grass cutting. But I'm used to that! That view with the teeshirt in it is the one you get from the hut door where I sat for an hour or so feeling relatively inconspicuous due to the thriving vegetation blocking the view of passers-by. By the time I came back to eat some dinner, I'd put in six hours meditating.

Then I lay on the couch for a bit. When I got up, I phoned the good mother to see if she wanted to go out for lunch tomorrow and since she did, I decided to do the five hills run, and not go down to Costorphine for the nine mile one.

I did it uncharacteristically in just a teeshirt ... no woolly hat and without the two sweat shirts. I took three minutes off the time I usually do that run in these days, which is forty minutes.

After the bliss bath and trying to work out facebook and watching the end of the France Mexico game (vase breathing with the noise blockers on!), I sat in the lobby for the last meditation of the day so far. A cracker! An absolute cracker. Bliss and light and heat! Hurrah!

If I could put three days together like that ... but I have to do the granny run through Lanarkshire tomorrow. Anyway, I can meditate for three hours in Newmains and an hour or so in Bellshill, so I should be able to do five hours in total before I get the train home.

One of the photies is of the current state of the apples and the other is of the sprouting branch of the apple tree. The tatties and onions and cabbages are doing brilliantly this year.

Hurrah for today!! Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah!!!

I have to give up the computery thing now to the Domestic Bliss and watch Glee with my eyes shut and the noise blockers on.

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

It's a small world!

Thursday 7:55 a.m.
I started the meditations today at 5:30 a.m. At the start of the day, I usually go through a list of the folk I know who have died and whom I'll like to do some juju for. There's now twenty folk on that list, the vast majority of them younger than me when they checked out.

I've decided to put the guy who topped himself last week on it for the next seven weeks since it turns out that he was also a close friend of the Spango Yogini, who shared a flat with him for three years, as well as the sensei's. It is indeed a small world!

What are you going to tell him when you visualise him, Hotboy? I'm going to tell him to go to heaven, Jack. Do you believe in heaven, Hotboy?

Samsara and nirvana are the same reality in the state of ultimate awareness.
To achieve ultimate reality, I mark everything with mahamudra, The Great Seal of emptiness.
This is the quintessence of non-duality. Milarepa, slightly misquoted perhaps.

I'd like to grow old in the conviction that nowhere is anywhere and that anywhere is nowhere; that everybody is nobody and anybody is everybody. Until then ... for the sake of visualising folk in the bardo, I can think of heaven as being just another mental formation, dependently originated, a bit like that which I'm in just now except a lot better. A pure land full of compassion where there are no flatheids, the women are all gorgeous, show great enthusiasm, and don't complain about the mess.

It might be a lot better for most folk if there is no afterlife. In the Tibetan tradition I don't think rebirth is something you'd look forward to, and the bardo between lives sounds as hairy as hell. Of course, if it's like dreaming, you might not know you are dead. And the Tibetan jujuman said controlling anything in the bardo was like getting chucked out of jet with a pencil and a bit of paper and expecting to be able to write a four line poem before you hit the ground.

has too many lines!!

It's going to be a great day for the bliss!

Wednesday night photies!

Wednesday 8:35 p.m.
The bus stop photies were taken today and yesterday. There's a rose bush in the allotment and the other one is of flowers on the tatties. The trees aren't as good to photograph with leaves on them!

Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Vase Breathing, Heat and Bliss!

Tuesday 9:42 p.m.
This post won't interest you if you don't meditate. People do land on this blog looking for information about vase breathing, tummo, gtumo, bliss, meditation and heat. So this is for you.

I don't know what bliss is though I've just been practising and getting shedloads of it. I suppose it might have something to do with serotonin, dopamine or whatever, but if so, I've no idea how it works. I don't think anyone has. In the press yesterday there was an article by this prof saying that serotonin levels have bugger all to do with depression, but this is contested. Nobody knows. Ignorance prevails as usual.

I started meditating twenty five years ago come this September/October, so that would make me thirty four. I started getting into the bliss when I began to meditate three times a day and got up at six in the morning to do some before going to work. I think I must have been about forty two then.

A guy called Dave Gibson encouraged me to take refuge, saying it would improve my meditations, and it did. I took refuge after reading The Bliss of Inner Fire and got an empowerment from Lama Yeshe, in rather peculiar circumstances I might say, around Christmas 2002. I took refuge on January 3rd, 2003.

I had made some connection between bliss and breathing when I was ten weeks off work a wee while after this, but I had my first experience of inner heat on April 6th, 2003. I've never had anything quite like that since.

There has been a slow, gradual development of bliss and heat since then.

I think you're supposed to be opening channels in your subtle body. My visualisations of these channels, the drops, the deity, etc., are very poor, but the channels seem to be opening anyway!

I've encountered no problems with any of this stuff though I maybe should have since I haven't received any instructions and I don't do stuff the way it says in the books.

I started moving awareness up through the four chakras you use about eighteen months ago when I was getting some side effects from concentrating soley on the navel chakra. Also, this is the way to the bliss. The bliss you get from the chakra in the middle of your brain is the business!

These days at every stage of the medicine buddha sadhana I do, I raise the awareness through these chakras in combination with vase breathing. This goes from the navel chakra and always goes back down the the navel chakra at every stage in the process. I don't know if this is recommended or not. I can't remember.

Ultimately, you are supposed to be able to collect the Four Blisses on the way down from the brain chakra. I don't know if I'll ever get there, but I am getting some bliss from every one of the four chakras I use. Not every time, but sometimes.

I'm definitely getting heat now, but not in the central channel. I suppose this is because my visualisations are so poor. But when the heat started checking in some more, these suddenly started to improve. I have no explanation for this. I have no explanation for any of this.

The jobbie is dead quiet today. I'm going to sneak off and do some more meditating. Here comes the bliss!

It's a shame the world is full of the too dumb to meditate, but it's not my fault!


Monday, 14 June 2010

Monday Update!

Monday 8:45 p.m.
I was just about to doze off on the couch this evening after work when I smelt the soup pot burning. Your sense of smell is a quantum mechanical event, like photosynthesis. You smell what you smell because whatever it is isn't acting like a particle (otherwise it was never breach the mucus in your nose), but like a wave.

Why are you interested in quantum stuff, Hotboy? Well, Jack, some saints have been reported as being able to be in two places at once. Padre Pio was one such joe. During the Second World War he used to appear on clouds in front of American bombers and jammed their bombing gear. All the villages around about were bombed, but not his.

Do you believe that, Hotboy? I don't believe anything, Jack. But I find stuff like that interesting.

I think I read once that buddhas could emanate with 100,000 different bodies. I think wee tottie particles/waves can do that as well.

Tell us about the meditations, Hotboy! The spam robots want to hear about the bliss!

I didn't do much meditating early on today since I got drunk last night, but it was evident by the lunchtime meditation that the whole caboodle has moved on again. The warmth and heat is coming on faster than it was last week.

The amazing events and sensations produced by the vase breathing are accepted by me now. It's been such a slow development, over years, not months. I think if your flatheid were to get these feelings all at once, they'd definitely want to go to hospital. You'd be freaked. In an odd kind of way this is comparable to old age. If you were suddenly old, you'd be amazed at how gruesome it was. But if it just takes place in small increments, like day by day, you kind of habituate to it.

According to the statcounter thing, there were seventy four unique visitors to this bloggie yesterday. That's about sixty more than usual. I joined facebook a couple of weeks ago to keep in touch with my young relatives and a lot of these new visitors seem to come from there. I mentioned the bloggie on facebook which might have been a mistake. I'd like folk to meditate, especially family members, but there's nothing you can do about flatheids and the too dumb to meditate. Apart from the great vajrayana being a wee bit dangerous, I can see why the Tibetans sitting in the caves didn't talk to anyone about this juju. Esoteric. The effects, even for someone like moi, are so off the wall ... anyway, even the Domestic Blis and the kiddo don't meditate. Nobody I'm friendly with, in this country anyway, meditates.

Would you like to have never learned to meditate, Hotboy? You might have made some money and been a real man!

Sometimes I'm hilarious, so I am! Flatheids can't appreciate that! Flatheids don't even know they're flatheids!

I donned the Beer Monster Reduction Vehicle and shadow boxed through the first half of Italy versus Paraguay. I've stopped eating butter and cheese. The next time I get paid I'll stop smoking and recommence eating the soapbar. I will make light middleweight. I will! I will! I will! By the end of July, the old, toothless one will be gasping in my wake!

Sunday, 13 June 2010

Sunday's resume!

Sunday 8:27 p.m.
The kiddo left the nest again this morning and so I am on my ownio till Wednesday night.

On Thursday, I must have done seven hours on the cushion; Friday, about six hours although I did the granny run on the bike through Lanarkshire; yesterday, another six or so hours before the kiddo came back from the Fatherland; but today I only did about four hours. Now, I'm going to have a drink. Jobbie basturn, grief, sorrow, lamentations, etc., tomorrow. The Fatherland are two nil up against the kangaroos at this moment in the World Cup. I guess if the kangaroos get a real hammering, Albert will have to stop goose-stepping around in his garden for a while.

I think I might be a bit obsessive about meditating. I used to be obsessive about writing, but I've only managed a half hour of doing the wonderful writings since I decided to keep that up last Monday. But this was a very enjoyable half hour and I might end up come my summer holidays with a plotline I can work on.

Am I obsessive, Jack? No, Hotboy, you have a work ethic. You have to do what is necessary and it is necessary that you sit in the lobby and do the calming and the concentrations, the bliss, the rapture, and sometimes the ecstasy over long periods of time so that, if you live long enough to get out of gainful employment, you will have the basis to begin to properly emanate as a deity, and appreciate emptiness. Because this is the best of things. You have written enough, but you have not meditated enough. If you meditate some more, maybe you will have something interesting to write about.

The huns are four nil up. I think Albert should have the day off work tomorrow. They'll be throwing bricks, so they will

The old, toothless one and I went jogging today, which is why I didn't meditate so much. An hour and twenty five minutes along the North Edinburgh cycle paths. You can't rely on the old, toothless one for the long, slow distance running because he doesn't meditate and gets anxious. I don't care if I don't know where I am. We didn't know where we were after an hour and surfaced in a private girls school. No schoolgirls, unfortunately. I applied for a jobbie there once a long time ago when I was still gorgeous, but they didn't even interview me. The stains and spittle marks on the application form maybe put them off. Cloistered protestant girls. Even I, the master of restraint, would be dead by this time.

I burst into tears when I was writing about the joe who topped himself. I wish folk wouldn't do that!

I went to sit this early evening in the allotment. The photies are of the cabbages, which are down to the Domestic Bliss, and of the going home.

I am such a fortunate creature! I don't know anyone who is as fortunate as I am, or as fortunate as I have been. What a fortunate creature I am , I am. What a fortunate creature I am!

Yesterday's photies!

Sunday 5:10 p.m.
I don't know what the wee bush with the blue flowers on it is called. Otherwise, it was potatoes and lupins again. I suspect the tatties this year are even going to be better than last year, which was bumper crop.