Rene

Wednesday 9:45 p.m.
I know nothing about Descartes, but he sometimes has shown up on teevee shows I watch. The first thing I liked about Descartes was the question he might have put: How do I know I'm not dreaming?

The teevee show this time was The Story of Science. The boy says Rene realised your senses could get things wrong. You might think a circular tower was square from a distance. (I must say I thought that was a weird example too!). Anyway, he was big on doubt and scepticism, and wondered if everything might be illusory, including himself. I was really warming to Rene when it got to that bit.

Unfortunately, Rene seems to have actually wanted to believe in something and it seems he thought that if he, the doubter, was thinking doubting thoughts then he must be a somebody. I think therefore I am.

In the Disbelieving Congregation, of course, we don't believe in thoughts.

We embrace our ignorance
We don't believe in any things
Especially thoughts.

Anyway, it seemed to me that Rene had got right down to the false sense of self, the object to be negated, and maybe was wanting to get back to God or something like that maybe. He might have said there was nobody thinking the thoughts, that the thoughts just arose, abided and declined in your consciousness, which is just a kind of cognizant thing, an awareness.

You could say you were your consciousness, Hotboy. You could say that, Jack, but what about when you're in deep sleep and not cognizing any thoughts, and not conscious? Who are you then when you are unconscious?

I ran down to Costorphine and up yon big hill from quarter past six. It took me an hour and three quarters again. It's ten o clock now. Tomorrow I do not need to take any exercise even if I could. Tomorrow is all mine! Mine, I tell you! All mine! Hurrah!