Sunday 9:00 p.m.
I've just started on my last bottle of home brew, but I've got a bottle of collapso for later on. Tomorrow (and tomorrow!) I might be giving up the drink, but not tonight!
Tell me what your problem is, Hotboy. Well, Jack, I think the problem is the fantastic conceit of have of moiself. This problem has been in my face since I spoke to the lama and has been causing me all kinds of grief. And what is the solution to your problem, Hotboy? The solution to my problem, Jack, is to do what the lama tells me to do.
Sometimes I have actually got some enjoyment out of digging the allotment, but my main feeling about digging is that I don't want to do it. You have to dig if you garden like me, that is, badly. You have to dig, but you don't want to do it. You don't have to go running, or cycling, or shadow boxing, or tai chi, or yoga, and I would much rather do any of these things than dig. I do not think digging is a very good form of exercise, but if you dig, you cannot do these other things because digging knocks the crap out of you. It's just something in the way, stopping you do stuff you'd really like to do.
I don't want to do prostrations because that looks to me like another crap kind of exercise. Okay, it is going to be good for the supporting joints, like your hips, knees and ankles, but I do not think it is as good for them as doing knee bends like you do in tai chi. Also, you need equipment or you are going to hurt your knees, etc. Crap, crap, crap!
There is perhaps a humility aspect to doing prostrations, but that's also debatable. You could get very chuffed with how many prostrations you were able to do.
So I'm complaining to myself all week. Why do I have to do 100,000 stupid prostrations? Just because it's in some tradition? Because that's what they say you've got to do? Why? Why can't I just do a 100,000 sun salutations, or something that's not as dumb as doing prostrations, something better for you?
100,000 prostrations is the first of the four uncommon foundations which make up the Dorje Sempa juju, the initial vajrayana thing I was empowered into.
The second of the four uncommon foundations is 100,000 recitations of the 100 syllable mantra. What is the bloody point of that? This giant mantra isn't even in my language. I do a lot of mantra-ing anyway, but they are all short mantras. I understand the power of repetition here. But with this long mantra stuff, am I being asked to pray? I don't like praying! I did some praying when I was a kafflick. What are these people praying to anyway? Well, Hotboy, they say that each syllable represents a deity and .... pass the sick bag! If there are deities out there, or demons, or purple people eaters, well, I haven't seen them so far, and as the man from the Disbelieving Congregation, who is trying not to believe in the table or the computer, I really don't need this crap about deities. I'm trying to get into emptiness, that is, nothing existing in the manner of its appearance, and I'm being asked to do some deity worshipping crap, which I don't even understand. Who wants to waste there time remembering or even reciting nonsense like this? I want to meditate. Oh, you could learn to meditate on the recitations of the 100 syllable mantra, Hotboy. Fung off! I can do better meditations than that already.
What was the matter with doing the channels and symbols, and going to mental hospital? Actually, the problem with that was that I couldn't visualise the bloody channels and symbols properly. But I digress!
The last two of the four uncommon foundations are mandala offerings and guru yoga. In the former you visualise the universe as a mandala and offer it up ... no problem there since I understand what the visualisations are supposed to do. With the guru yoga, you are supposed to develop devotion for your root guru, and I have less problems with that than I used to have. So these last two are not a problem.
I think the problem is back to moi! Being asked to do something as stupid as the 100,000 prostrations would probably be good for developing my humility. This might be why I'm resisting it so much. They say all these joes and josephines who have achieved enlightenment have done this stuff (I say, who cares?)(St Teresa of Avila didn't know what a prostration was. Neither did St Francis of Assisi!).
You could end up prostrating for ever. There was a guy on the telly who prostrated all the way from Mongolia to Bodh Gaya!
I don't like being asked to do the stupid stuff, but since the lama told me to do it, I'm going to do it. If I didn't resist it so much, I wouldn't be tempted to do it. It's the resistance indicating a problem.
The photies were taken down at Cramond on Friday night. The Romans were down there before me. The legionnaires would have looked at the same skies over the Forth.
Monday's appointments have evaporated. I'm determined to start on the nine hours a day meditation cycle tomorrow. I've packed my bag for the hut at last!
I'm just going outside now, Jack, and may be some time. Try to last at least till lunchtime, Hotboy.
11 comments:
To grow anything there are things you have to do like dig and get your hands dirty.
That is the part I don't like about gardening. I don't like having messy hands. Even gloves don't stop it totally, because sometime you have to use your bare hands.
But if I don't use my bare hands, my garden gets over grown with weeds and the small fragile plants don't do as well.
Nothing is separate, it is all hooked together to create something different. Our life is a process, not a destination. To focus on the ends, without being willing to use proper means just keeps it out of reach.
It is your choice to follow or not follow the lama's advise to you. All our lives are about choice.
If you wish to attain the inner fire of bliss, then this is the safe path to take. Either take the path, do the work and stop bitching or never reach your goal.
I have to do 1,000,000 repetitions of my mantra to be allowed empowerment. I think it could take me this life and my next 3 to do that. But I keep chipping away at it.
Marie! These are wise words!! I've just emailed Teresa down at the Samye to tell her I'll do the repetitions and the prostrations. I've taken my stuff up to the hut, but I'll wait here this morning and go up later. We must have a chat about your practise when you're next travelling through Auld Reekie. 1,000,000 mantras!!! I guess this is to get the Dorje Sempa empowerment? Let's hope you get let off the prostrations!!! It was a beautiful morning here, but it's gone all cloudy now. Boo! Hotboy
I'm glad you have decided to do the work. I know I'll be down there for sure in November. But not sure about before.
My practice is White Tara. I've a long way to go before empowerment. But I'm keeping at it.
Marie! Information like this White Tara thing make me realise I know nothing about Tibetan Buddhism. I was told to take the Dorje Sempa empowerment, but the other ones I took just because I was there really. I'm sure doing the mantras anytime is good. I try to keep them up whenever I can remember, like walking down the road, etc. But you could do five minutes every now and again at sitting meditations. Every like bit is money in the bank! Hotboy
Question. Can you count up to 100000?
If you lose count, remember to go back to the beginning.
Anony? Is that you Mingin'? Marie Rex has to do 1,000,000 mantras! Maybe I should wait until I can afford a serving girl to count them for me! Hotboy
I don't remember it, but I think anony might have been me, blogging after a full half bottle of freedom ale.
Oops wrong post. Dearie effin me.
Correction, right post. Dearie etc. Suggest you ignore all my comments for a while.
Albert? I would hate to think you'd been on the wine gums, but it usually helps to remember that the relapse is part of the cure. Hotboy
Who is Dora Semple anyway?
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