Samye Day 5

10:36 a.m.
Torrential rain wakened me up last night. A real Samye downpour. It's a whole year since I was in the tent during one of those. The tent doesn't keep it out either, not all of it. Drip, drip. Cough, cough. The lung disease hadn't bothered me before, but it didn't like the damp. I was a bit damp and so was the sleeping bag this morning. What a downpour!

The sensei and reverend thinks I should stick it out here and he might be right. You don't have to cook or anything, and you don't have to speak to anyone, and there are no temptations. On the distaff side .... I don't want to tempt the lungs. It costs money I haven't got. (Not a problem really, that!) I can't run in the rain here. Too much hassle with wet stuff in the tent, etc. I'll have to get the juju together in my home base anyway. I'll have to stop the beer drinking when I get home anyway if I'm going to stop being a fat basturn. Can't lose weight with the food here. Impossible for me. My guru is my guru wherever I am. Also, there's a lot of building work going on and the noise is a wee bit distracting. I think I need a tougher regime and more solitude. There should be nobody in the flat all day, but me.Also, I start the day better at home. Meditate straight away. Might be different if I had a room and not a tent. But I'll see how it goes. At the moment, I'm going home on Wednesday.

The back temple is ideal, but you can't get into it at the weekend. This morning in the front temple was wonderful though. Am I collecting the four blisses? Just a wee bit maybe. You don't just suddenly collect them. It creeps up like everything else. My visualisations are still ropey, but getting much better. I've got an hour and three quarters before lunch. Hurrah!

3:41 p.m.
Just spent a couple of hours in the tent. This tent doesn't seem to have midgie problems. Tourists don't walk in and say: It's nice and quiet in here. There is still the building site, but the noise is intermittent. The wonderful Domestic Bliss bought me the tent so that it was big enough to sit up in. When I sit up in the tent and close my eyes, I get the bliss. When I lie down, I can get the bliss. I still might go home on Wednesday, but I didn't realise I could use the tent. The midgie problems made me stay away from the tent unless I couldn't help it before. Hmmm? As long as I don't get pneumonia!