Saturday, 21 February 2009
Obstacles No No!
Saturday 8:15 p.m.
I was thinking about a problem the sensei might have with his book getting made into a Hollywood blockbuster, and this was that there might have to be a part that flashes back to child sex abuse scenes. This puts it in the wrong certificate rating for the megabucks, so I thought he could allow it to be a flashback to an extended scene where Angelica Jolie (for she is the heroine of the movie!) is having lots and lots of sex with this old drunken Scotsman person who has inveigled her into this by standing on his head whilst pissed. This targets the older demographic dirty old men who usually never go to movies.
Then I wakened up after having this extended dream where I was basically Angelica Jolie talking to Brad Pitt in their living room while having a drink but not fooling around. It was a long, long talk about Jennifer Aniston and commitment and all that. Brad didn't say much. I don't think Brad and Angelica are going to be married for much longer.
I'm sorry, Angelica, but I'm not on the market at the moment. So what happens is that Angelica Jolie has an alert system like a cuttings manager for her public relations profile and they occasionally check out the blogosphere for mentions of Angelica Jolie's name. In fact, the more Angelica Jolie's name comes up, the more chance they've got of finding this.
Angelica Jolie is a very handsome woman and a brilliant actress and enormously talented and filthy rich. She is also an artist and understands the struggling artist bit. So when her public relations people bring this bloggy to her attention, she thinks that maybe she should give me about £10,000 a year for a fifty fifty split on the books and some private meditation consultations. Also, just kind of praying for her constantly whilst in the hut.
How's she going to know who you are, Hotboy? Well, Jack, she'll phone up Richard Branson and he owns Virgin Mobile and she'll ask him for my number. Is it that easy to find out who you are, Hotboy? Though I don't know who I am .... the phone will ring. It's not switched on. That's an obstacle I hadn't counted on.