Doing the bliss!

11:46 a.m.
Was going to upload something from youtube, but it's no working! Anyway, after the first meditation of the day, I went onto youtube and searched Lama Yeshe. The first video that comes up is of Lama Yeshe Thubten, who authored The Bliss Of Inner Fire. There's three minutes of him just doing the bliss!! Touch of eyeball rolling and everything! How auspicious!

Year Review!

Wednesday 5:25 p.m.
I did no writing at all in the first six months of the year (and the last six months of 2008) and concentrated my efforts on the juju. But I really fell into the arms of the Nicotine Dragon by the end of it. Despite moi and everything else, the meditations came on brilliantly this year.

I took refuge around the 3rd of January, 2003, which was right about the age my old man died, so I've been at this juju for about seven years now. I'd been meditating for seventeen years before that.

For most of the start of this year, I was dreading going to Skye for my holidays, and, when that passed, I found myself a complete wreck. I was fat and back into smoking joints big time. I had a wonderful couple of weeks around September when I was trying to purify myself of the poisons and those meditations were wonderful. Since then I have been getting a bit fitter though the last two weeks have been no help at all ... you can't run in weather like this!

In the last half of the year, I did some re-writes on an old book. I was trying to get away with not doing too much. That never works. There has got to be some blood, sweat and tears. But I really don't have the time to write in any more. I don't want a book in my head. I want to do this juju!

Something might happen soon with the writing since I feel like giving it up. Usually, when I feel like that, something happens. Some time it won't happen and then I will give it up. I just don't feel as if I have the time any more. This year a guy I was very fond of passed away and another contemporary was given an very unfortunate diagnosis. Tempis fugit.

I keep trying to achieve stuff with this juju and that's a big mistake. I know that. I'll be fifty nine next year. This isn't a rehearsal. But I'm not really happy with myself. If Dr Jekyll could get a grip on Mr Hyde, I'm sure I'd be much happier.

I don't think I'll ever be able to do these visualisations in my present circumstances. This may mean that I won't be able to raise heat properly. It may not. I don't know. But I do know that sometimes recently ... there are feelings of great openings in this "channel" or whatever it might be. This is a really wonderful thing to happen. What I'd really like to have is that as a default. Close your eyes and there it is. I get that sometimes already, but I don't think you can get it constantly (not from where I am!) as long as you smoke and drink. Or even eat cannybliss yogurts. I need more grip in the bits between meditations.

I know I'm living a wonderful life. Having any access to bliss at all (without even looking forward to developments thereof), makes me a very, very fortunate creature indeed.

In the latter half of the year, having decided that there is no helping them, I gave up calling the pondlife flath*ids. We are all the authors of our own misfortunes and if they don't mind walking around with their heads stuck up their backsides, that's okay with me. Grief, sorrow, lamentations ... delusions, disappointments and despair ... suffering this life ... well, fung that for a game of soldiers! Every year gets better and better for me. Hurrah!

Old Gulag, New Gulag!

Wednesday 1:30p.m.
Between the bus stop photies, there is a photie of my new jobbie place and one of the old gulag, the one surrounded by the wooden fence. The fence is to stop you escaping. You end up in the gulag in the first place, if you're like moi, by not showing anything like enough ruthless ambition, especially in the garnering of wealth and leeway. Having your testicles removed might not help either.

I'm so crabbit. No nicotine today so far. So far, so crabbit! This is not much of a time of year for a joe who wants the Unfortunate Ones in correct doses i.e. few and far bertween. Oh well! Once more into the breach, dear friends!

Review

Wednesday 5:30 p.m.
Albert has written a review of the latest blockbuster. It's here

Today's photies!

Monday 8:00 p.m.
Two photies taken in the Botanics and two from the hut.

The whatever opened further tonight about seven. Whao! But I've had enough of this hibernating meditating malarkey and I went out for four beers. Back to the jobbie tomorrow. Dearie me!

Oh, and the other photie is of the Kalacharka Mandala. I try to visualise that several times a day. Is it impossible?

Come Tumbling Down!

1:10 p.m. Bliss diary:
Just finished the first meditation of the day. It felt as if it had just continued developing from last night. Lovely feelings of warmth and bliss. I just got through all the preliminary rigmarole really, but the pauses in the parts of the meditation where you're really meditating on nothing were something else. So it's looking good for the rest of the day. This evening I've half agreed to go out to see a movie. I prefer foreign movies with subtitles so I can just close my eyes, but it's Sherlock Holmes tonight. Oh well.

1:42 a.m. Bliss diary:
I've hardly moved out of the house for the last two days. Social events were threatened and then didn't transpire. But I fell asleep on the couch for two sessions lasting three hours in the early evening. Odd. So I meditated during a movie in the living room and then came here about half twelve to have another go.

I was getting heat today, or warmth anyway. The boy says you can get all types of heat, arising in various ways. I reckon if I get developments in the heat department they will probably start with a kind of warm all over glowing. I guess you'd get in arising in the central channel if you could visualise it properly, but I can't.

I haven't been drinking much recently (nothing over the last two days), but my nicotine addiction is now well established. Head banging will commence shortly.

Boxing Day

Saturday 4:07 p.m.
The flat has been empty last night and today. I started meditating at half ten this morning and I've sat twice. On the first one I thought it had improved again. Then I thought that it can't be improving every single day. Improving to become what? After the sittings, I did my shadow boxing routine since it's still baltic outside and then had a bliss bath. A wee bit of vase breathing while bathing is very nice indeed. I don't know if I've mentioned doing the vase breathing (only a little bit!) in the bath before. You can do it anywhere,I guess.

6:50 p.m. Bliss diary. Managed another meditation there with fantastic bliss and a great feeling sometimes of everything being open. So you're supposed to be opening some channel, but it may just keep opening for ever. Fabulous bliss, of course, but where's the heat? I might have to start getting serious about this juju if I don't get heat rising soon!

8:30 p.m. Bliss diary. Just finished the fourth sit of the day. Everything got better. I expect you have to put in about four hours before you can get this stuff to start working. Anyway, probably did about six hours today. On days like this you feel as if you are truly living the wonderful life!

00:32 a.m.
Doing some vase breathing whilst watching The Incredibles. That's what they do instead of investigating the bliss, watch teevee. Anyway, new sensations again. It's the time of night and after all the meditations. It works at night.

Christmas Day

Boxing Day 00:36 a.m.
Last year I got a Christmas present of a mobile phone. I've loved taking photies with it since all the leaves fell off the trees. It makes you look at things, and freeze them in unexpected ways. I never get phonecalls on my mobile phone. I can't remember how to answer them anyway. It costs me about £10 a month to put photies on this blog. That can't be right. The world always takes the piss out of joes like moi because we can't really be arsed either way.

Bliss diary:
Due to the Christmas Sanity Basturns, I only meditated today for about an hour. Fung sake! But whilst sitting on Auntie Anla's carpet and watching the telly, the bliss arose. Just sitting there and it arose, twice. So it's okay for me. I only mentioned the bliss to the Unfortunate Ones twice as well.It is a shame for the Unfortunate Ones, but there is no point whatsoever in telling them about the bliss.

As I was walking home along the icy pavements of Morningside, I thought of St Teresa of Avila. She got swept up. You just get swept up. The bliss comes on so strong that you just get swept up. You have to get folk to hold you down. Be great that.

It was Christmas Eve, babes, in the drunk tank...

Noon.
Bliss diary: Just finished the first meditation of the day. Since I have not smoked anything yet, the light was brighter, the bliss more profound, etc., but I also have an edge of crabbitness. But I always know that when the pollutions diminish, the bliss increases. But a jagged edge of crabbitness. I haven't had to speak to anyone yet, which is good.

There has hardly been any Christmas so far which is great. But tomorrow I will have to go out for my Christmas dinner and I'll have to hold my tongue around the flathe.... sorry, the Unfortunate Ones.

Why is that, Hotboy? Well, Jack, imagine you were the only person who could hear music. Not only could you hear music, but you could play Rachmaninov on the piano. No one else you are ever with has one single bit of musical sense in their entire bodies. Even although hearing music and even playing Rachmaninov is within everyone's capabilities, there is no point in talking to these people about learning to play the piano. Even the smartest among them is not going to sit down and learn to play the piano because even the smartest of them has no idea what music is.

Right now, I have every sympathy for that Tibetan guy who went to America and humped everyone then drank himself to death.

It would be nice to be going somewhere ...if anywhere ... the young women were tottering around on high heels and half falling out of their dresses. Oh well!

9:00 p.m. Bliss diary:
Managed to sit four times today. The last one was wonderful! I don't think there has ever been so much bliss and warm and kind of thickness to the light.
Now, I'm going to have to go and speak to the family, so I've poured myself a beer. My old man didn't drink and was a great family man. His anniversary is today. Even folk like him didn't get the bliss.

Today's photies!

Wedenesday 4:55 p.m.
The last shot was the first one I took. It was a message from the dark side of the moon telling me not to go to the jobbie as it was too cold. Hurrah! I had to go out for Christmas shopping and totally enjoyed it because of taking photies! Then I went to the hut. Not too cold to sit.

Vase Breath

Tuesday 1:40 p.m.
Morning trees in Princes Street.

5 p.m. Bliss diary

I'll describe the meditation I've just done. Normally, I'm vase breathing during a lot of this, particularly towards the end. I took refuge then went into the Medicine Buddha Sadhana. Apart from the preliminary meditation of the day, this is the way it usually goes. So you perform the generation stage. There's loads of bliss throughout. I don't spend enough time on this phase, but by the end of it, I'm feeling fantastic. You have tried to emanate as the Medicine Buddha and although the visualisations are very poor, you're going for the vajra pride and the radiance in the mandala. You are feeling pretty esctatic here!

During the completion stage, I'm moving the awareness in time with the vase breaths up to the mid-brain chakra. By the time you reach the mid-brain chakra, you are in an unbelievable amount of bliss.

And all this is continually improving. Just over a year ago, I started this movement up the chakras instead of holding it at the navel chakra, and I usually get an awful lot of feelings around these areas. It's a bit like an onion being skinned. The openness gets more open. The bliss gets stronger.

Around then, you have to stop because your legs are sore.

In the perfect world where you could just concentrate on doing this juju, you'd be doing this four times a day. That's what I need to do at the moment. This would bring the meditations towards six hours a day. And every time you do it, it gets better. That's why I'm sour faced whenever anybody asks me to go anywhere. I could not be doing anything better than sitting on my backside doing nothing! This is the bliss! This is the bliss! This is the bliss!

9:46 p.m.
Bliss diary. I managed to meditate twice more. That takes today's meditations up to a rather poor four and a half hours. But the meditations got better and better bliss-wise. No heat.

Monday 4:25 p.m.
I must say Christmas this year is much better than normal. It's hardly impinged. So one mustn't complain, one mustn't. Okay, just one Christmas Santy basturns and that'll be that.


My New Years resolution will be to give up socialising!

The Unfortunate Ones are so unfortunate that they don't even know they are unfortunate. What a great time of the year this might be for someone with no purpose in this life at all! You've only got the sleeping and being awake and dreaming. They do not know the ecstasies and all the various degrees of bliss inside their minds, so they don't have to worry about their minds at all. It's not as if the Unfortunate Ones would ever think about developing their minds, so all they've got is the monkey view and that might be quite good at this time of year, what with all the Christmas puddings and drink and drugs. Also, they take long holidays and they can land in on you at any time. Really difficult to keep your meditating regime going whilst undergoing the collateral damage.

It's moi I'm annoyed with, Jack! No, be annoyed about them, Hotboy! Okay, Jack! Useless basturns the lot of the them! Why don't they all just bugger off and go yo ho hoing someplace else?!

I would like to write about the meditations, but I never got over Thursday. I don't think I'll ever get over seeing Brian Wilson at the door when I had at least another three hours to go of the absolute wonderments. Basturns!

The photies were taken at the bus stop in Princes Street.

Let it Snow!

Saturday 5:30 p.m.
The first meditation session today lasted from half ten till just after two, with just one wee break for a dog pose and a head stand. That's the way to do it! I was going to go for a wee run, but there was a blizzard outside, so I did my shadow boxing routine in the full Beer Monster Reduction Vehicle. Really lethargic so it was. After the bliss bath, I meditated again and then went out for fags.

I got a Christmas card from Cloggieland today. Inside, squeezed down in silver foil, was a wee bit of wonderful black stuff. No sender given. I was going to take it down to the nearest police station, but they'd probably arrest me, so I've just had a wee smoke of it instead. Whoa! It aint soapbar! I've dedicated all of today's meditations to whoever send it and their family. It's Christmas after all!

If anyone else would like to send me a Christmas card like that ... Whoa! I think I could go for a wee lie down now.

Snow and Mentally Ill People

Friday 4:40 p.m.
Yesterday afternoon, I was settling down for my fourth meditation of the day, and thinking how wonderful it was that I was going to have this Thursday at last, after five long weeks, free of any of the Unfortuate Ones,when the doorbell rang.

Standing there, smoking two fags at once, the half chewed pig's face poking from a pocket, the half drunk bottle of collapso clutched in one hand, was Brian Wilson. He said he'd come down to meditate. We meditated for an hour and then we went out and got drunk.

The four noble truths are presented as a kind of diagnosis and prescription for the mentally ill. If all things are conditioned by suffering in this realm of desire, no wonder all the too dumb to meditate are mentally ill! If I wasn't getting huge bucketfuls of the bliss at regular intervals, I'd feel a bit crook myself! But I don't see why I should put up with the mentally ill for any more than six days a week. On Thursday, moi deserves a break from that which is gross such as Brian Wilson.

On Thursdays in future I am going to visit with my sponsors, the Alien Creatures from Outer Space, who live on a spaceship on the dark side of the moon, so the too dumb to meditate can just fung off on Thursdays in future.

I might have to take up the cudgels with the Nicotine Dragon again because the only chance I have of getting any peace is to outlive these basturns!

The meditation with Brian Wilson was up there with the best. It's changing so fast these days. I'll maybe write about the bliss later on tonight.

Wednesday's trees

Friday 16:25

Happy, happy, happy!

Wednesday 8:50 p.m.
The photies are of this big tree in the Botanics. It's an amazing big tree and in the summer it has purple leaves. Few trees are purple, but that one is. Well, kind of purpley.

I braced myself to read the crime book last night and tonight. Just finished it. Feel fine. It's crap, but it's quite good crap. Not taking itself too seriously. Always a saving grace. It's alright. I can forget about it now and get back to The Revenge Of the Traffic Wardens! But I was worried about it before I read it. Glad to put it behind me. If the agent doesn't fancy it, well, c'est la vie!

Tuesday Bliss Diary

Tuesday 2:22 p.m.
I've really been quite happy today!

For nearly thirty years, whenever I've been on buses, I've put my knees up on the seat in front. For the last twenty odd years, I've usually meditated like that or read a book or whatever. Just recently, due to developments with the bliss, I've started sitting with my back straight and my feet on the floor. Meditating this morning on the bus, the mid-brain chakra seemed to open into some wonderful bliss. Never quite happened like that on the bus before.

The day I walked off the jobbie (about five and a half years ago now), I had a beautiful sensation on the bus of bliss inside and outside me. That made me feel totally confident and I don't think I would have walked off the jobbie without that happening. When I happened I thought: Nothing bad can happen to me today.

It was different, but not as strong as the sensation today, which was however more localised and specific almost.

The photie of the tree in front of the castle was taken just before I got on the bus. The other one was uploaded accidentally. It's the sky over Bellshill last Friday.

From The Diamond Sutra:

"Subhuti, does a venerable One who will never more be reborn as a mortal say to himself, 'I am entitled to the honor and rewards of a Non-returner.'?"

"No, Perfectly Enlightened One. A 'Non-returner' is merely a name. There is actually no one returning and no one not-returning."

"Tell me, Subhuti. Does a Buddha say to himself, 'I have obtained Perfect Enlightenment.'?"

"No, lord. There is no such thing as Perfect Enlightenment to obtain. If a Perfectly Enlightened Buddha were to say to himself, 'I am enlightened' he would be admitting there is an individual person, a separate self and personality, and would therefore not be a Perfectly Enlightened Buddha."


None of the juju masters ever say they are enlightened. I wonder if it's maybe hopefully because of the Diamond Sutra, but maybe not.

Monday Night

Monday 10:17 p.m.
Bliss diary:
Got up okay before six and the first meditation was very, very good. It went downhill after that since I had to work at the jobbie and ... then I feel asleep on the couch for TWO HOURS this evening. So got into the evening sessions late and the phone went ... then I settled down to watch Primates by David Attenborough. This was very good since the envelope thing developed during it and I could distinguish new stuff happening in there. My life in the meditations is good and going to get better. If I knew it could be anything like this, I would have started meditating sooner! Folk who can actually do this juju must feel ... well, be no comparison with the unfortunate ones really.

Missed the meditations with the nun due to being asleep. Monday evening isn't the best time for me to go out!

Heroic Jogging!

Sunday 4:28 p.m.
Instead of cutting back through Ravelstone Dykes today, the old, toothless one and I jogged on until we were in Cramond. Then we jogged back along the promenade there beside the estuary, and finally got home. I was out jogging for 1 hr 55 minutes. That's a good half hour longer than we've done on our Sunday runs recently.

Hotboy, how do you feel? Well, Jack, I think I'd like to go to hospital now.

The photies were taken en route. There's one of the Forth Road and Rail bridges, but they are obscured by fog.

10 p.m.
Bliss diary:
I did two hours today before getting ready for the run, but that took out the whole afternoon really. I started again at half five and finished at half nine, when the cannybliss yogurt kicked in. That four hours weren't continuous, so that's really only five hours today. But the last hour was something special. You seem more able to do the vase breathing in the evening somehow. To get the big hits, you hold the breath long enough so that you have to breath in quickly when it's expelled. This is not what a sensible person would tell you. I'm still not getting a lot of heat. When everything seems open anyway, and radiant white and blissful, and then you start raising the awareness step by step up the chakra symbols, when you get to the middle brain chakra, it is simply mindblowingly brilliant. I really need to get into three hour sitting sessions, with just maybe a wee break or two. You need to put in the time.

At times like tonight, I usually throw in a couple of naulis or more. That's when you suck everything up from your pelvic floor and it all seems to disappear inside your ribs. I don't know if you can do the whole caboodle sitting down, but you can get a bit. Don't think I've mentioned that before. You start the inbreath with more Ooomph. This might not be for sensible people either.

Sucking your guts up like this is a good way of invigorating your prostate apparently. This means that when the Prostate Milking (for the Discerning Gent) Parlours start springing up all over the shop, I'll hopefully be able to just walk on by.

Away with you!

Saturday 9:50 p.m.
I hate audiences. I don't want to speak in public. There's usually nothing very authentic about it for us tortured creatures who were told to sit on our hands, and shut our gobs.

I read an email about scattering the Big Jambo's ashes in the Water of Leith. A few words required. Not from moi! But when my ashes are scattered into the river running past the Samye Ling, it would be nice if some not so tortured creature could recite something like this ...



When Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara practised the deep Prajnaparamita, he saw that the five skandhas were empty; thus he overcame all ills and suffering.

"O Sariputra! Form does not differ from the void, and the void does not differ from the form. Form is the void, and the void is form. The same is true for feelings, conceptions, impulses and consciousness.

O Sariputra, the characteristics of the void is not created, not annihilated, not impure, not pure, not increasing, not decreasing.

Therefore, in the void there are no forms and no feelings, conceptions, impulses and no consciousness: there is no eye, ear, nose, tongue, body or mind; there is no form, sound, smell, taste, touch or idea; no eye elements, until we come to no elements of consciousness; no ignorance and also no ending of ignorance, until we come to no old age and death; and no ending of old age and death.

Also, there is no truth of suffering, of the cause of suffering, of the cessation of suffering or of the path. There is no wisdom, and there is no attainment whatsoever. Because there is nothing to be attained, a Bodhisattva relying on Prajnaparamita has no obstruction in his heart. Because there is no obstruction he has no fear, and he passes far beyond all confused imagination and reaches Ultimate Nirvana.

All Buddhas in the past, present and future have attained Supreme Enlightenment by relying on the Prajnaparamita. Therefore we know that the Prajnaparamita is the great magic Mantra, the great Mantra of illumination, it is the supreme Mantra, the unequaled Mantra which can truly wipe out all suffering without fail."

Therefore, he uttered the Prajnaparamita mantra, by saying:

"Gate, Gate, Paragate, Parasemgate Bodhi-svaha!"

Saturday Night!

Saturday 8:45 p.m.
Bliss diary

After blogging, I went back into the lobby for another hour and a half. Despite being a wee bit stoned, I've never quite got that response from the vase breathing before. Full on envelope, sheets of light ... the heat can't be long now! When you have nicotine withdrawals, some tobacco just puts you back to normal, with some horrible demon added on. Dearie me!

If I was going to get this juju right, I'd still be in the lobby, but I've meditated for over seven hours today anyway, and I wouldn't like anyone to think I was a bit obsessive about this meditation lark, so I went out for FOUR bottles of Erdinger. Just eaten a bit of bob. I'll roll some sticks. It turns out the Domestic Bliss is fogbound somewhere in the wilds of Lanarkshire, so I'm on my own again. I could go out and look for some infidelities to commit, but I'll have to be up early and get back into investigating the bliss

Too much wood!

Saturday 5:40 p.m.
I'd like to apologise to my sponsors, the Alien Creatures from Outer Space, for the many, many, many transgressions and infidelities I have committed over the years with the Australian Ladies Volleyball Squad. The sport of pocket billiards will have to do without my charismatic presence until I have rebuilt my relationship with all the spam robots on the Five Point Plan to Get Out of Your Face On Air!

Who invented all this monogamy crap? Of course, it was men, but they invented it for women. Something has gone completely wrong here. When the knights rode on the Crusades, it was the women who were put in chastity belts, not themselves. A wee while before this all the inherited wealth went sensibly through the female line, and there couldn't have been all that many problems with monogamy back then!

The human beings only really fall in love for three months. After that, the joe should just piss off and find someone else to fall in love with, leaving the josephine to go back to counting all her money.

This monogamy crap is probably all the fault of St Augustine, who thought we were all damned through original sin which came down from Adam and Eve with sex. St Paul wasn't much of a blinking help either: Get married, says he, if you can't put up with the torture. I bet the ancient Romans and Greeks weren't torturing themselves any more than they had to before these weirdos showed up!

Damn thing froze again!!

Western civilisation took sex advice from a bunch of unfortunate ones who were (supposed to be) celibate. No wonder we're all funged up!

Just had the first two joints of the day. Feel much calmer now. But ...

Bliss diary.

I started meditating today at half nine. Usually, I go through a big long rigmarole aftet the taking refuge bit, but not today. It just opened up into such bliss that I left it there for maybe a half hour or so. Sat for an hour and a half. Then I did the tai chi set, back bend over the seat, and head stand. Good boy! Then I did another hour and a half. Lunch. Then I did another hour or so, then commenced on the skipping and shadow boxing. Very hard session. Bliss bath! Then I came out and started meditating again. About half five I went out for fags, came here and had two joints.

If this was a sensible planet, if I was a golfing superstar billionaire, I should have about twenty wives and sixty children! It would be good for golf anyway. It's only the poor, useless basturns like moi, far too old for this malarkey anyway, who should be monogamous.

A fifteen year old Mike Tyson once complained to his mentor Gus Tomato that because he was an ugly basturn with a lisp, girls didn't like him. Gus told him when he was World Champion, he'd need a baseball bat to keep them off. I bet the cocktail waitresses are the worst!

Friday Night!

Friday 8:00 p.m.
I left foggy Edinburgh and headed for the Brigadoon of Lanarkshire where the sunsets are always golden, except for today at before one o clock. The sun don't hardly get out of its bed at this time of year.

The photie in the fog is a photie of the castle. The crime book I've just finished as a scene with the castle shrouded by fog. So it does happen. If anyone wants to read the next blockbuster, just email me and I'll email it back. No word yet from the agent and he's had a whole six days!

The flat is empty tonight. I've just eaten a bit of bob and will consume three bottles of Erdinger and four fagsworth of tobacco in joints before the night is out! The purification will commence tomorrow.

The last time I had any beer was last Saturday. Whoa!

The machine here (the bedroom) keeps freezing. So you lose bits. Couldn't write in here.

Bliss diary for today.

Meditated for an hour and a quarter before I went for the train. Stoned already, feeling superb. Outside there was the wonderful fog. Mr Hyde time. The cold air on the cheeks helped in the realisation that this is a wonderful place to be. None of this open the windows and declare, "Not another bloody beautiful day!" as they do in the samey samey parched places downunder and somewhere in the bongo bongo. It wasn't like this yesterday. Nothing like it. Vibrant, so it is.

I took up my usual position on the train and sat in the usual half lotus, morphing perfectly by covering my foot with my jacket. Got the paper in front of me resting on the wee tray that folds down. Choo, choo. Then I close my eyes and do the bliss. Fell asleep in the bliss and wakening in the bliss. This kind of thing has been happening more and more, but usually happens on the couch. Not on the train, not usually. But this is very nice. You just realise there's been a gap when you've been asleep. Like a line. Then you check the next station. Conked out for twenty minutes. Totally bye bye. And I didn't remember anything about falling asleep and I didn't remember anything about wakening up. Just went absent. There's supposed to be bliss there as well. In the unconsoh. This kind of crashing out feels very nice, by the way.

I was feeling very good humoured.

The auld maw and the Auntie Kathy are a scream really. Gripping onto a sharpness during the crumbly phase. The CD player kept cutting out. Interrupting the meditations, but that didn't bother moi since the meditations seemed to have jumped forward so much since last week. This kept cheering me up all day. Also, the hibernating trees.

I'm not doing enough meditating.

It froze on me again, Jack! If the spam robots cannot help me with this, who can? Ask the Elders to cease from blocking the signals and I will comply. Just stop sending out the freezing vibe. Basturns! Before all this infantile computery crap came out, you could spend such a night as this washing your hair and listening to Radio Four.

I think I'd better go and have a bit of a lie down now. By the way, well done to the old, toothless one who retired today. This means that he does not have to get up in the morning. In fact, he could just lie in his bed all day long. Or take up abseiling, or whatever.

As the junkie ssid to the sailor, If I had veins like that, boy, would I have me a time!... from Wiilliam Boroughs or Jean Genet, I cannot remember which.

I think I'd better go and have a wee bit of a lie down. Hotboy

Coming From Hut Trees!

Thursday 9:40 p.m.
The old, toothless one says we did the run in 35 minutes tonight. Usually, we run it in 40 minutes. That's a big difference over that distance. Shurely shume mishtake! But the nicotine withdrawals lends a little aggression mayhap. One of the miles was probably under seven minutes. Huge difference in a few months anyway!