Monday 10:04 p.m.
Got an email today from my secret agent. I'm trying to be cool, so I don't email him first. Since the Frankfort Book Fair, they have now had four rejections. I got to read two today, both from major players. One of them last year had books that won the Booker, the Orange, the Whitbread, and one other I can't remember. It's like one grand slam after the other. So what does he know? Also, he knocked back the Book of Pi, which had great bits and poor bits ... so I've got some time for this joe because that's what I thought as well.
Did this make us downhearted, Hotboy? We get what we deserve, Jack. Why should we have money and the bliss as well?
It's not just about the money, is it, Hotboy? No, Jack, it's about validation and vindication and aspiration, and the bolstering of the false view of self.
"The wish that it may be made known that 'I was the author' is the thought of a man not yet adult." The Dhammapada. The wall.
Also, fung them!
After the meditation with the nun tonight (another joe showed up! Hurrah!), she said we have to come up with the donations, due to the hiring of the room and the building up of the generosity. Hmmmm? Being a buddhist and a hindu and a sikh and a kafflick and ... have I got £3 a week for this sitting quietly doing nothing with this josephine? I do different kind of meditations, or try to, when I go there ... nope! If I had a full time jobbie, obviously there would be no problem with this.
Today, I found out that the two lascivious emails and the one who showed me the text message (I'd like to fung you all night long) originate from the same josephine.
Is she cute, Hotboy?
She was just seventeen, if you know what I mean. And the way she looked was way beyond compare ... Jack!
Tell me, Jack, do you think forty years is too much of an age difference to have a relationship with someone?
No, Hotboy, not if the relationship only lasts for an hour, or in your current state, only a few minutes, if that. Normally, at your age you'd have to go on holiday to Thailand and pay substantial monies, which you do not have, to have such a relationship.
The library was shut to six year girls today. What will you say when next you see her, Hotboy? You might in jest, because banter is allowed, say: Hold me, or, You make me feel all warm inside. You are not allowed to say: I would like to fung you all night long.
Send your daughters to engage with moi! Like water off a duck's back! I'm ready for them, the wee bissums!
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2 comments:
I would rather read almost any of your books than Life Of Pi.
The Whitbread's now the Costa, and the favourite's a 90-year-old woman, whose work is described as a biographical account of "sex, love and sore feet". If you still had a sore knee/shoulder, and unfettered access to the josephine, you could have written part of that.
PS - did that help?
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