Hunger!

Sunday 9:24 p.m.
Most of yesterday was wasted. I couldn't watch Hunger, the movie I went to with the kiddo. It was full of flatheids being rotten to each other, but I did open my eyes and pay attention to the twenty minute scene with Bobby Sands and the priest. Brilliantly, brilliantly acted.

After the movie, I was talking to the kiddo and had to abruptly leave due to welling up. That hasn't happened before. But I went a walk round the block. As I walked, I was not playing a flute!

There's someone who perseveres with this bloggy and lives in Belgium. Diane, you're just not going to understand the flute reference!

I was bothered by the strength of commitment and the lack of bliss. I keep going on about going into solitary confinement. I know it would be hard, but for someone like me ... well, it would be worth it!

I was bothered by the strength of commitment. I'm not trying hard enough. I know we are supposed to be looking for the middle way, and that the buddha wasn't into severe asceticism, but Milarepa ... Milarepa...

Why don't the folk in solitary confinement get the bliss, Jack? Why does moi get the bliss and I don't know anyone else who gets it? There are wonderful descriptions in Alexander Berkman's book, The Prison Memoirs of an Anarchist, about the screaming of prisoners going mad in solitary confinement, the night time horrorshow.

Well, Hotboy, you have the method. These flatheids, even if they know the method, do not employ it. You also have some understanding of the wisdom and even although you have not realised it, you know what it is. So, it's okay for me, Jack. Yes, it's okay for you, Hotboy. Just remember that you are not guaranteed the time and you could be dead tomorrow. You cannot help the stupid flatheids in your current state. Find a way to do a longer retreat.

The lama asked the seventeenth Karmapa, who was a kid then, if he could go back, please, into solitary retreat. The Karmapa told him he had to stay put and help his brother. Just remember it's not all about moi, Hotboy!It's not all about moi!