Saturday 10:55 p.m.
Some days it's just not so good. The meditations were fine. The bits in between were not so fine. It's not as if anything has happened. Nobody has turned any more terminal than they were already. Everything has been fine. It's just been the meditating and the allotment and the setting fire to stuff, and more meditating, etc.
I was listening to the dharmapada, or whatever it's called, at the auld maw's, and this is really very hard, this juju. When you are surfing the oceans of bliss, you can be up on it, you can be exuberant, but sometimes there are some wants and cravings and clingings and a little bit of despairings.
What do you really want, Hotboy? Some nice people might inadvertantly come to this bloggy, Jack, so I wouldn't like to say. I think I've got to be happy drinking tea and talking to folk. Even if you know not to believe in thoughts ... longings, longings!
All I want is really some soapbar to eat! What is the fung matter with this country!? Why is there alcohol available on every street corner and the stupid basturns won't let you buy any decent drugs? A wee bit of Afghani in the cannybliss yogurt! Is that too much to fung ask of this civilisation? Dearie me! What is happening out there in Wester Hailes? Why can't I just buy this in a fung shop?
Dealing with cravings is alright as long as you've got everything you want or need. Stop doing everything and you're bound to go mad!
6:25 a.m.
I've been up meditating since the back of four. That was not a good frame of mind to fall into last night. Bad boy! Very unusual for me these days to get so pissed off. I was bored. I don't get bored. My friend with the MS is going into respite care today. What the fung have I got to complain about?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I say!
Are you off on the prowl today for defenceless old ladies to grab their pensions?
MM III
Mingin'! Sitting quietly doing nothing as usual! Hotboy
Despite trying, I have been unable to focus on breathing since my recent reprieve. No motivation. How do you manage to motivate yourself?
Re the longings and the perennial question "what do you really want?" - I usually fob myself off by counting my blessings, e.g health, a roof over one's head and a decent partner, things could be so much worse etc. Doctor Bob reckons that following one's (base?) urges at this age is too late even to qualify as mid-life crisis, and is 99% guaranteed to end up badly.
If things had gone differently I could have been a guitar-playing brain surgeon and a gigolo on the side, but sadly it's too late now.
Besides, blissheids like you who believe in reincarnation can just wait for the next life to come along.
Hope that helps.
Mingers - I know a defenceless old lady who needs her pension grabbed.
Albert? Is that you? I don't believe in reincarnation. The Disbelieving Congregation is anti-belief. The only thing to do is follow the bliss. Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss! Hotboy p.s. I would be a help if one could stay off the piss as well!
Post a Comment