Tuesday 8:30 p.m.
My relationship with the outside workaday world is just the same as anyone else's. My false sense of self is just as good as anybody else's false sense of self. So there's really not much difference there except you're probably not half as handsome.
I'd like sometimes to explain what's going on in these meditations, especially when I've had such a good one as I've just had, but I haven't a clue what's going on. ... there's this envelope thing which seems connected to your body, as if inside it but kind of parallel as well. It's like a force of some kind as well since it seems to stretch you sometimes and hold you up. Whatever it is, it's getting stronger, Jack!
Only a looney would embark on such a course as this. I suppose up till recently you wouldn't have access to this unless you were in a closed retreat. It was an esoteric juju. Well thank God the times have changed and any old potheid can get into this stuff! Crash and burn! Crash and burn!
None of the bad things that might have happened has happened yet. No excruciating agonies or going on fire or anything bad at all. I've been getting ever more bliss, but it's been mostly that, a lot more bliss. There does not seem to be an end to the amount of bliss. Even when you can't believe in what you're getting when you're gettting it, you then get some more. I'm not sure about the heat.
Since I am not discernibly making much headway with the non-duality, you'd got to wonder where this other stuff is going. Is this subtle body thing separating out somehow. The meditation and post-meditation times seem very different. It's not just me with my eyes closed, or open. That's another dichotomy really. I used to be just the same with my eyes open or closed, except in one it was a bit darker. Dearie me! Where's it all going to end, Jack. You'll end up standing on one leg in your underwear half way up the Himalayas if you don't take it easy, Hotboy.
It's really difficult to describe this stuff.
Poisonous and I bumped into two junkies we knew and asked them in for a smoke. They were most cavalier about the cannybliss. After a while the one with the bare feet said: Ah can turn intae a swan. Go on then, says I. Ah can only dae it when nobody's lookin', he says.
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11 comments:
I say!
Now that you can work your camera, why not show us just how handsome you are?
It might help, after all.
MM III
Mingin'! If you're having problems in your old age with sexual orientation, the man to speak to is Albert for sure! Hotboy p.s. I didn't realise when I called myself Hotboy that I would become a gay icon.
I say!
I wasn't asking for myself, of course, but rather for a gay chap who sometimes goes to the bar at the 'Government Hostile'. His name is Quenton. He seems to have taken rather a shine to your ramblings.
MM III
I say!
Is this your lot?
MM III
Mingin'! In the Disbelieving Congregation one is a lot. Hotboy
hotters, the line about not realising you'd be a gay icon is possibly your best fiction yet.
I actually tried the autogenic training again this morning. With a black sock over my eyes to shut out the light, I took two relaxed breaths, visualised this person who was doing this breathing, then the house he was and continued zoomimg out. Within about 30 seconds I was off surfing the alpha waves. I know I should do this more often. Would you consider posting a bit more about ra bliss?
hotters, I've left a stack of comments at your first girlfriend post. Meanwhile my part of the deal is suitable for work if you don't mind gratuitous use of the word b__m.
Albert? You want me to write something about the bliss? I cannot believe that! Hotboy
Albert? I've checked you new blog. What a good idea! Go straight to the fat one up by the castle! Hotboy
All in good time, if one's being chronological.
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