Tuesday 10:07 a.m.
'The ideal limit with the things you desire is not the amount you would like to, but the amount you ought to take.' Seneca. The Wall.
Searing pains in my head, the distant jagged reverberations from the death throes of billions of brain cells ... well, I phoned up the jobbie and cancelled yesterday due to being indisposed. Felt fine after a couple of Ibuprofen, but I was shocked by the headache; that kind of hangover I don't normally get.
There's a blank woolliness about Sunday evening from about five thirty, when I thought we were going to leave the pub and ten to eleven, when we actually did.
It says in the juju book that you might encounter problems with great blossomings of desire. This might have something to do with concentrating on below-the-belt chakras, but I'm not sure.
It could be something to do with being a randy, old goat, Hotboy. Shut it, Jack! I think you should write down a few rules for future reference, Hotboy.
1) Do not proposition people whilst doing missionary work in pubs. (Due to the blank woolliness ... well, who knows? Anyway, if anyone got embarrassed ... I'm seeking counselling and my little problem will be solved as soon as Albert sends me the plane tickets to a therapy session down under with Doctor Bob!)
2) Remember you're supposed to be catching the monkey, not spanking it!
3) If you have recourse to the latter, remember that's the kind of thing the Australian Ladies Volleyball Team are there to help you with.
4) Do not under any circumstances give anyone, unless demented, geriatric and beyond temptation, a copy of your dirty book to read. (I had it in my bag last night at the meditation session with the nun when who walks in but the Australian Ladies Volleyball Team's first reserve. What a surprise! She recognised me from the allotments. I will not ask her to visit me in my hut! I will not ask her to visit my hut! I will not ... anyway, I just shook hands, made my excuses and left at the end pronto. Good boy!)
5) If you start fancying the dummies in shop windows (It might have even gone beyond that, Jack!), you may occasionally let up on the Chinese rules for merchant bankers over fifty!
Time to meditate!
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6 comments:
I should've written you a note like I do for the kiddos: "Please excuse Hotboy's absence today as he was indisposed with a migraine" or "Please excuse Hotboy as bad boys made him drink too much".
Glad you managed the important stuff on Monday like the meditation session with the nun. Shows an ability to prioritise. You could make middle-management yet!
Me thinks you are just asking to get clobbered by your Domestic Bliss. She needs to keep you on a shorter lead or use a bigger stick.
Yeah those below the belt chakras can get you in trouble every time.
Oh and avoid the window dummies they've got sticks up their....whatever. *giggling*
Ion: Greed, greed, greed! Oh well, it was worth it! Hope you put in five minutes today anyway! I'll pay that one back someday! Hotboy
Marie: The monk was offered three choices: the drink, eating the goat, or hanky pankying with the hostess, so he chose the least sinful and got pissed. Then he ate the goat, and then ... drink is supposed to dampen the libido. Maybe only in small or medium doses! No harm done though. ... people are so nice to me! Hotboy
Sounds like your good angel works a lot of overtime my friend. I'm glad people are nice to you.
From what I can recall of my drinking days, drink dampens it at the time, but then the hangover brings it back, unless you're actually vomiting. Everything balances up.
Onan! You're an example to us all! Hotboy
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