Wedding Day

Friday 2:48 a.m.
The first shoe malfunctioned right after the ceremony and I knew I'd have to get a bus home for re-enforcements. The bottom basically fell off. I hadn't worn them for about five years, but when I wiped the cobwebs and dust off them and gave them a polish, they looked alright. I got on the 27 bus, which meant I had to walk along Great King Street. By this time I'm carrying the malfunctioned shoe when the other shoe malfunctions. So I threw them in the bin and proceeded back to the flat in my stocking soles.

Brilliant wedding. Couldn't have had a better time. I'm walking along in my stocking soles and thinking this is totally cool. Off my face and one hundred percent confident. A wonderfully pharmaceutical event.

We want to know if any young women tottering about in high heels and half falling out of their dresses, tottered over to speak to you, Hotboy. Wasn't it always thus, Jack? Wasn't it always thus? They're taking the piss, so they are.