4:30 p.m.
So here's the perfect Samye day. Up at half five and be showered, etc., in time for the gong bashing at six. Breakfast at seven. Meditate from eight through to three in the afternoon with a break for the huge luncho! Then go for a run at three. I'm just back from jogging down to the kirk at Eskdalemuir. It says it's an hour and half either way. Did it in about 35 minutes which is alright for a fat old man. But it means you go passed Purelands where the lama is holed up. Imagining the juice coming down through your fontanella on the way back is a wee bit of a boost. There's another hour's meditation coming soon. Then soup. Then meditate till bedtime. Hurrah! The problem with banging the run in there is that it's usually pissing down here, but not today. What a fabulous time I'm going to have here! What a fortunate creature I am, I am! What a fortunate creature I am!
Thursday, 9 July 2009
Samye Day 2.
1:23 p.m.
My meditations are already much improved. Total crackerjack before lunch today.
Things might be a bit easier for me if I believed in rebirth. My position is that I don't believe in anything I don't know for certain, and since almost all thoughts are misconceived, relative, partial and almost always lying basturns ....
I'm re-reading Mullin's translations of the the Book of the Three Inspirations. In the introduction, he relates a chat he had at Kopan with the dharma brother, coincidentally of Thebten Yeshe who is responsible for the stuff in the Bliss of Inner fire. Mullin is a wee bit concerned that he's translating stuff that used to be secret, but Lama Zopa tells him it might benefit some people. Folk who have had no past connection with it won't be interested and if they are, they won't understand it.
My eyes were opened by reading the tantric stuff. I was born in Chilly Jockoland about the time the Chinese started invading Tibet.
And if there is rebirth, the evil bourgeois, sweetie eaters will all go to hell and then be reborn as bad smells in toilets, waiting for another trillion rebirths before they get a shot of being human beings again. Hurrah! Conscious rebirth would be something interesting though ... the Baby and the Buddha along with some other stuff has me almost convinced.
I stood on my head today and did two tai chi sets. I'm thinking of running down to Eskdalemuir and back, but we'll see....
I seem to be settling in really fast, which is the main thing, and it's not even raining!
My meditations are already much improved. Total crackerjack before lunch today.
Things might be a bit easier for me if I believed in rebirth. My position is that I don't believe in anything I don't know for certain, and since almost all thoughts are misconceived, relative, partial and almost always lying basturns ....
I'm re-reading Mullin's translations of the the Book of the Three Inspirations. In the introduction, he relates a chat he had at Kopan with the dharma brother, coincidentally of Thebten Yeshe who is responsible for the stuff in the Bliss of Inner fire. Mullin is a wee bit concerned that he's translating stuff that used to be secret, but Lama Zopa tells him it might benefit some people. Folk who have had no past connection with it won't be interested and if they are, they won't understand it.
My eyes were opened by reading the tantric stuff. I was born in Chilly Jockoland about the time the Chinese started invading Tibet.
And if there is rebirth, the evil bourgeois, sweetie eaters will all go to hell and then be reborn as bad smells in toilets, waiting for another trillion rebirths before they get a shot of being human beings again. Hurrah! Conscious rebirth would be something interesting though ... the Baby and the Buddha along with some other stuff has me almost convinced.
I stood on my head today and did two tai chi sets. I'm thinking of running down to Eskdalemuir and back, but we'll see....
I seem to be settling in really fast, which is the main thing, and it's not even raining!
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
Sanye Ling Day One
2:33 p.m.
I have to wait an hour at Lockerbie station and I always sit on the iron bench away at the side and almost always meditate. How the whole process has moved on!!
I felt very unanxious about putting the tent up and it sailed up very easily, and I never hit a stone with the pegs. That's a first.
I have a very slight cold, but nothing to worry about.
I don't know how long I'll be here for, but I've paid for a week.
This is Blissheid Central. The Gatekeeper to Nirvana told me that the lama is doing his dark retreat just up the road in Purelands and not on the Holy Isle like I had imagined.
I haven't done any proper retreats at all. No wonder I feel like this juju is other powered with a life of its own. Anyone who has followed this bloggy will realise that I'm not very good at resisting temptation. Far from it. But sitting in Lockerbie station I thought that I'm going to get this. I'm going to get the four blisses, the whole shebang. Maybe not this week, but sometime. Let the fireworks commence!
I have to wait an hour at Lockerbie station and I always sit on the iron bench away at the side and almost always meditate. How the whole process has moved on!!
I felt very unanxious about putting the tent up and it sailed up very easily, and I never hit a stone with the pegs. That's a first.
I have a very slight cold, but nothing to worry about.
I don't know how long I'll be here for, but I've paid for a week.
This is Blissheid Central. The Gatekeeper to Nirvana told me that the lama is doing his dark retreat just up the road in Purelands and not on the Holy Isle like I had imagined.
I haven't done any proper retreats at all. No wonder I feel like this juju is other powered with a life of its own. Anyone who has followed this bloggy will realise that I'm not very good at resisting temptation. Far from it. But sitting in Lockerbie station I thought that I'm going to get this. I'm going to get the four blisses, the whole shebang. Maybe not this week, but sometime. Let the fireworks commence!
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
The Day before the Samye Ling!
Tuesday 7 p.m.
The weather forecast for today was rain, rain, rain, so I thought I'd take another day to chill out from the shenanigans of the weekend and go to the Samye Ling tomorrow. I can feel a wee infection starting in my lungs and hope that this won't be too much of a bother.
Hotboy, you can't sleep in a tent in the pouring rain (which it always is down there!) with a lung infection coming on! Yes, you can, Jack! Yes, you can! Let's hope when I wake up tomorrow, it's not too bad.
I was reading the bits of The Bliss of Inner fire that I needed to remind myself of ... the Blazing and Dripping bits, etc., because I'm not for once taking it down with me. And I came upon the bit that says why you should, and when you can, practise with a consort (It's on page 165 if you want to have a look at the google book version). Hmmmm? What an amazing time you could have if you'd practised hatha yoga with a partner and then came upon this juju to practise together! Even if you told this to a young flatheided couple ... unbelievably, they would still be too dumb to meditate!! I'm glad I'm getting away from these flatheids for a while. How can they be too dumb to meditate?
The photies were taken up the allotment this afternoon. The goosegogs at the moment are so succulent, but there's almost nothing tastes as good as a ripe strawberry taken from the ground.
I shouldn't waste time and money drinking coffee and blogging down at the Samye, but I probably will.
Spango Yogini! The way I did the crow into the headstand move was by going from a headstand into a three pointed headstand and then coming down in to the crow, up to the three pointed headstand, then back into the usual headstand. So it's kind of the other way around, but it's probably easier. If it pours down at the Samye, I'm hoping to get back into more of that stuff!
Sunday, 5 July 2009
Taking Lou into the Path!
Sunday 7:15 p.m.
You should go to Youtube and listen to Amphetamine Annie by Canned Heat while you're reading this. I put it on before the Wild West Roadshow arrived.
About ten of my deep dear friends, folk I've known for nearly forty years, were milling about in my kitchen on Friday night. What a wonderful time I was having! When the toing and froing left me in a gap, I closed my eyes and was in such zinging bliss. I opened my eyes when engaged once more by jabbering, and jabbered back. You could think how terrible it is that they do not get the bliss. But moi is getting the bliss. What's the point of being miserable just because they're all flatheids? It's not going to help them. It's not going to do anyone any good. Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss!
A couple of days later, the dakini came down on a rainbow from the buddhafields, and viewing the drug paraphenalia, the pornographic books and the blown up sex dolls, said: It's empty. It does not exist in the manner of its appearance. Sublimate it. Move it upwards into even more of ra bliss. And gie's the rest of the Lou Reed! She was accompanied by RaBigGorgeousOne who was acting as a bodyguard. So all's well that ends well and no harm done. What a wonderful view I have at the moment.
Beaming with positivity, so I am! My meditations have become so much better since the lama went into the dark.
You should go to Youtube and listen to Amphetamine Annie by Canned Heat while you're reading this. I put it on before the Wild West Roadshow arrived.
About ten of my deep dear friends, folk I've known for nearly forty years, were milling about in my kitchen on Friday night. What a wonderful time I was having! When the toing and froing left me in a gap, I closed my eyes and was in such zinging bliss. I opened my eyes when engaged once more by jabbering, and jabbered back. You could think how terrible it is that they do not get the bliss. But moi is getting the bliss. What's the point of being miserable just because they're all flatheids? It's not going to help them. It's not going to do anyone any good. Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss!
A couple of days later, the dakini came down on a rainbow from the buddhafields, and viewing the drug paraphenalia, the pornographic books and the blown up sex dolls, said: It's empty. It does not exist in the manner of its appearance. Sublimate it. Move it upwards into even more of ra bliss. And gie's the rest of the Lou Reed! She was accompanied by RaBigGorgeousOne who was acting as a bodyguard. So all's well that ends well and no harm done. What a wonderful view I have at the moment.
Beaming with positivity, so I am! My meditations have become so much better since the lama went into the dark.
Thursday, 2 July 2009
More Drunken Reflections on the Path!
11:50 p.m.
Scene setting. I've had four cans of wifebeater. I went out and bought three bottles of beer. The first is Grolsch Premium Weizen Wheat Beer, a very tasty and expensive brew.
It's been amazingly hot for Chilly Jocklanders today.
I don't know what attracted me to meditating. One time I think I understood that everyone followed punishment and reward, in that no one does stuff to hurt themselves, not intentionally. They can't all be loonies these joes and josephines who sat in caves. There is deferred gratification. I did not think that all the saints in the Holy Roman Catholic and Apostolic Church could be mad. There has got to be a sweetie in it somewhere, as there must be in watching creekit, though that is a path I did not feel attracted to. So I do not know why I was attracted to meditating. Maybe finding such disappointment in the lack of anything in the catholic church helped. As Kalu Rinpoche said, it is not profound. In fact, Catholic theology is stupid.
You don't need much to meditate. I did not expect much. I wanted to suck it and see. I was very keen on the arrangement of words at the time and meditating was something you could do when you weren't doing that.
The pulsations, the red and white shocks up the spine and all of that stuff at the beginning did not freak me out because of the way I was brought up and became somebody. Everything was always going to work out alright. I was not scared of myself. Us hotboys aren't all that good at doing anxiety.
And all the way through whenever I have had cause to think that maybe this was going a bit squeegy, that maybe this was getting a bit much and not being normal ... the feelings that you might be going fall over with the strangeness of what was happening with the breathing and breath-holding ... all the way through I did not think that I wasn't up to this juju. I did not think that this was beyond me, that other cats could do this and I couldn't.
This was a confidence that was given to me by my family, by the loving caring and attention that was given to me by my female relatives. I was always boosted by them. They did not bequeath to me anxiety.
Then you start getting the bliss. Maybe sixteen years ago I started getting the bliss. The bliss is a big subject. How long is a piece of string? When you talk to flatheids about the bliss, they might respond by telling you about how much they like gardening, or playing with the computery things. Bliss is just a word to flatheids. Flatheids, unfortunately, do not get the bliss. It's just a word to a flatheid.
Today, I had to sit in the Assembly Hall on the Mound waiting to watch my daughter getting capped. This is boredom you can afford. Whilst waiting, I started in on the breathing. The envelope started filling with heat. Later, I'm standing outside. I really don't want to stand in the sun. Sensitivity. I don't want to stand in the sunshine. Heat beyond what it should be.
All the way down the line, what has happened is so far what it said in the book, The Bliss Of Inner Fire. I thought I might crash and burn because of physiological disturbance, but this is not what the problem is at the moment.
This is the jet plane. This is crash and burn. This is not the walking path, or the motoring path. This is the high risk juju.
The heat is sexual. Or it turns out to be sexual. Or, it becomes more sexual, and sensuous. I wasn't expecting the bliss and I wasn't expecting this sexual energy thing. I'm fifty eight years old. When I was an adolescent, I thought all this malarkey would stop when I was about thirty five. I have never welcomed it. Because I was brought up with the Virgin Mary, I was autistic about it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we would like it to be.
Recently, in the last week or so, I think I have understood what this juju and the heat is all about. When the boy says that the juice goes down to the navel and the secret place, then onto the secret secret or tip place; hold it there and bring it back up. Taking desire into the path is a very, very hard thing to do.
We embrace our ignorance
We don't believe in any things
Especially thoughts.
Knowing more, experiencing more than your usual flatheid, dispels a little bit of ignorance.
When you come back from the Samye Ling this summer, Hotboy, will you hump their brains out? No, I will not do this, Jack. I will not exploit folk with my little bits of charisma. I will be filled with compassion and alruism, loving kindness, bliss and joy, heat and healing ...
When Gompopa met Milarepa (later on he fainted when he heard that Milarepa had died), Milarepa offered him a skull full of alcohol. Gampopa had vowed never to drink alcohol, but since he was there for guidance, etc., thought he'd better drink it all in one shot. I do not know what that means ...
I'm so hot for you. I'm so hot for you. I'm so hot for you.
When I have become a tantric sex god, I may need a yogini who is just like me. I understand it now. You can't do unity without a yogini. Can the spango yogini stand on her head? Can you come down into a sitting position? I promise I'll go to the Samye Ling this summer and lose a stone. I'll be gorgeous, so I will. You'll look like heaven to me!
Friday 5:35 p.m.
Please don't take offense, especially if you are the Domestic Bliss or from Spango! It was the drink! I don't like editing the drunken bum stuff out since it might tell you something. What would it tell you, Hotboy? Well, Jack, it would tell you to get a breathalyser fitted to the computery thing.
I was sober and straight for Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. On the beer Wednesday and Thursday. Tonight there will be no drinking since I'm being visited by my stimulating friends from the Wild West, who will have Eric from Eindhoven and/or Lou Reed and/or the Bolivian Marching Band with them. Don't know which. Hope it's Lou. Never was a huge fan of the Marching Band and I don't need my serotonin levels boosted right now. Yon Eric can be a bit of sex pest as well! Dearie me!
Scene setting. I've had four cans of wifebeater. I went out and bought three bottles of beer. The first is Grolsch Premium Weizen Wheat Beer, a very tasty and expensive brew.
It's been amazingly hot for Chilly Jocklanders today.
I don't know what attracted me to meditating. One time I think I understood that everyone followed punishment and reward, in that no one does stuff to hurt themselves, not intentionally. They can't all be loonies these joes and josephines who sat in caves. There is deferred gratification. I did not think that all the saints in the Holy Roman Catholic and Apostolic Church could be mad. There has got to be a sweetie in it somewhere, as there must be in watching creekit, though that is a path I did not feel attracted to. So I do not know why I was attracted to meditating. Maybe finding such disappointment in the lack of anything in the catholic church helped. As Kalu Rinpoche said, it is not profound. In fact, Catholic theology is stupid.
You don't need much to meditate. I did not expect much. I wanted to suck it and see. I was very keen on the arrangement of words at the time and meditating was something you could do when you weren't doing that.
The pulsations, the red and white shocks up the spine and all of that stuff at the beginning did not freak me out because of the way I was brought up and became somebody. Everything was always going to work out alright. I was not scared of myself. Us hotboys aren't all that good at doing anxiety.
And all the way through whenever I have had cause to think that maybe this was going a bit squeegy, that maybe this was getting a bit much and not being normal ... the feelings that you might be going fall over with the strangeness of what was happening with the breathing and breath-holding ... all the way through I did not think that I wasn't up to this juju. I did not think that this was beyond me, that other cats could do this and I couldn't.
This was a confidence that was given to me by my family, by the loving caring and attention that was given to me by my female relatives. I was always boosted by them. They did not bequeath to me anxiety.
Then you start getting the bliss. Maybe sixteen years ago I started getting the bliss. The bliss is a big subject. How long is a piece of string? When you talk to flatheids about the bliss, they might respond by telling you about how much they like gardening, or playing with the computery things. Bliss is just a word to flatheids. Flatheids, unfortunately, do not get the bliss. It's just a word to a flatheid.
Today, I had to sit in the Assembly Hall on the Mound waiting to watch my daughter getting capped. This is boredom you can afford. Whilst waiting, I started in on the breathing. The envelope started filling with heat. Later, I'm standing outside. I really don't want to stand in the sun. Sensitivity. I don't want to stand in the sunshine. Heat beyond what it should be.
All the way down the line, what has happened is so far what it said in the book, The Bliss Of Inner Fire. I thought I might crash and burn because of physiological disturbance, but this is not what the problem is at the moment.
This is the jet plane. This is crash and burn. This is not the walking path, or the motoring path. This is the high risk juju.
The heat is sexual. Or it turns out to be sexual. Or, it becomes more sexual, and sensuous. I wasn't expecting the bliss and I wasn't expecting this sexual energy thing. I'm fifty eight years old. When I was an adolescent, I thought all this malarkey would stop when I was about thirty five. I have never welcomed it. Because I was brought up with the Virgin Mary, I was autistic about it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we would like it to be.
Recently, in the last week or so, I think I have understood what this juju and the heat is all about. When the boy says that the juice goes down to the navel and the secret place, then onto the secret secret or tip place; hold it there and bring it back up. Taking desire into the path is a very, very hard thing to do.
We embrace our ignorance
We don't believe in any things
Especially thoughts.
Knowing more, experiencing more than your usual flatheid, dispels a little bit of ignorance.
When you come back from the Samye Ling this summer, Hotboy, will you hump their brains out? No, I will not do this, Jack. I will not exploit folk with my little bits of charisma. I will be filled with compassion and alruism, loving kindness, bliss and joy, heat and healing ...
When Gompopa met Milarepa (later on he fainted when he heard that Milarepa had died), Milarepa offered him a skull full of alcohol. Gampopa had vowed never to drink alcohol, but since he was there for guidance, etc., thought he'd better drink it all in one shot. I do not know what that means ...
I'm so hot for you. I'm so hot for you. I'm so hot for you.
When I have become a tantric sex god, I may need a yogini who is just like me. I understand it now. You can't do unity without a yogini. Can the spango yogini stand on her head? Can you come down into a sitting position? I promise I'll go to the Samye Ling this summer and lose a stone. I'll be gorgeous, so I will. You'll look like heaven to me!
Friday 5:35 p.m.
Please don't take offense, especially if you are the Domestic Bliss or from Spango! It was the drink! I don't like editing the drunken bum stuff out since it might tell you something. What would it tell you, Hotboy? Well, Jack, it would tell you to get a breathalyser fitted to the computery thing.
I was sober and straight for Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. On the beer Wednesday and Thursday. Tonight there will be no drinking since I'm being visited by my stimulating friends from the Wild West, who will have Eric from Eindhoven and/or Lou Reed and/or the Bolivian Marching Band with them. Don't know which. Hope it's Lou. Never was a huge fan of the Marching Band and I don't need my serotonin levels boosted right now. Yon Eric can be a bit of sex pest as well! Dearie me!
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
Towards the Island!
Wednesday 10:45 p.m.
I do not have to go back to the jobbie till the 17th of August. This is a long time away. I am truly fortunate despite, or maybe because, I do not have pots of money. But I have credit. Hurrah!
There is a little island that forms in the summer time just a little upstream from the main place. Waters tumble and the view upriver is wonderful sometimes. This is where I want to be. Sometimes there. Sometimes in the temple. When it's raining and there are tourists, sometimes in the back temple. Sometimes on the bench in the wee island in the middle of the pond looking onto the stupa. Sometimes it will be glorious to be there, just to be there. Satiation, contentment, and maybe a little sense of completion.
The flatheids have taken away my wonderful Thursday. I give away Friday and will see my chummies from the Wild West on Friday evening. On Saturday or Sunday I will pray to the dakini, and then chill towards the island. One day some years ago I managed to spend the whole day on that wee island and felt happy. Just a few stepping stones and then here comes the bliss! Here comes the bliss!
I shouldn't go to the cafe and spend time on the internet doing my blog. I should blog if something very interesting happens, but not as a routine.
What do you think, Jack? This is surely going to be the best of times, Hotboy! This is surely going to be the best of times.
I do not have to go back to the jobbie till the 17th of August. This is a long time away. I am truly fortunate despite, or maybe because, I do not have pots of money. But I have credit. Hurrah!
There is a little island that forms in the summer time just a little upstream from the main place. Waters tumble and the view upriver is wonderful sometimes. This is where I want to be. Sometimes there. Sometimes in the temple. When it's raining and there are tourists, sometimes in the back temple. Sometimes on the bench in the wee island in the middle of the pond looking onto the stupa. Sometimes it will be glorious to be there, just to be there. Satiation, contentment, and maybe a little sense of completion.
The flatheids have taken away my wonderful Thursday. I give away Friday and will see my chummies from the Wild West on Friday evening. On Saturday or Sunday I will pray to the dakini, and then chill towards the island. One day some years ago I managed to spend the whole day on that wee island and felt happy. Just a few stepping stones and then here comes the bliss! Here comes the bliss!
I shouldn't go to the cafe and spend time on the internet doing my blog. I should blog if something very interesting happens, but not as a routine.
What do you think, Jack? This is surely going to be the best of times, Hotboy! This is surely going to be the best of times.
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