Down where the drunkards roam!

Tuesday
Terrible drug alcohol. Should be banned. I wakened up this morning at four and didn't feel too bad. Last night I relented on the way to Scotmid for a bottle of collapso, and got four very nice and expensive German beers instead. I meditated from four till about half five then I fell asleep again. Nightmare!!

These days the vivid dreams are same old, same old ... but sometimes horrorshow. So I've got this time a big space, but it's getting invaded again and again, and by some people who are not very nice, and some not very nice things are happening around me. I ended up in the street and the fascist militia was chasing me into this toilet. As they were coming through the door, I managed to escape by disappearing through a crack in the roof. Dearie me.

I've been drinking every night for about the last ... since I ran out of the cannybliss. The dakini called me on the phone from the buddhafields on Sunday and says there's no resin to be had for love nor money in all the heavens, hells and Edinburgh as well. Damn ma skin!

Hotboy, this is the beginning of a collusion of auspicious circumstances. You'll have to be straight! You'll have to be straight! You have to give up drink and drugs and staying out late!

I do not feel so enthusiastic about the hut right now. I stripped back the bush covering the damage and it looks like a big bit of the side will have to be replaced. By someone. It was suggested that I get a camp bed. Great idea! Someone remarked that rats could climb and the camp bed wouldn't save me. Anyway, I could stay in the hut all day and all evening and then walk home to sleep. But it's not the same. The flatheids can still get at you if you do that.

I felt pretty fashed and bashed on the way to the jobbie this morning. After a slice of my breid with cheese and a cuppa, and a wee meditate, I felt remarkably revived! It's been a very good day at the jobbie in fact.

Yesterday evening after work, I lay down on the couch under my towel and set myself for a bit of yoga nidra then sleepybys. Then the clouds cleared and the sun came streaming through the windows.

I had to get up. It wasn't the brightness (brightness is not something I dislike!),but the heightened effect the sun had on my skin. This is the first time this has happened. In The Bliss of Inner Fire, the boy says when he was doing these meditations he couldn't go out in strong sun or sit near fires. On reading this, I remember exclaiming: Ah'm goiny be a vampire! I'm goiny be a vampire! And I'm not even getting that much heat.

I'm still a million miles away from Tsangkhopa's preferred heat, rising up the central channel. The heat I'm getting is kind of all over and not so much on the skin, but inside. All the time, despite being a disgrace to the juju, everything seems to relentlessly increase. Hurrah!

The photie is of Heruka. This joe is a wrathful deity. According to some Tibetans in the spacetime between death and life, you will encounter joes like this. On the net there's a story from Trunga Rinpoche going on about seeing this stuff. You are supposed to see Buddha families as well. This is supposed to happen whether you believe in anything or not. Hmmm?

I was listening to the Great Buddha Lama Yeshe Losal on a CD at the auld maw's and he said he wouldn't answer questions on the buddha families, their colours, etc., because he'd never seen them. You might have thought he might have encountered this kind of thing in his two previous bardo retreats.

There aren't any chakras, I don't suppose. There aren't any wheels spinning about and symbols and whatnot, even if you have taught yourself to see them. However, since before Christmas at the latest, I've been getting very strong reactions when I've been imagining purifying light coming down from the Medicine Buddha very hazily imagined over my head. And when I've been lifting the awareness.

In boxing you're not allowed to hit below the belt. This is really so you won't get hit on that spot about four fingers width below your navel. You can't have a contest if you can hit there because it wouldn't last very long. Also, you can get knocked out by a blow to a spot just below where your ribs join. One of the classic chakra positions is there. So there is something going on in these places. By imagining symbols in there, you can concentrate and focus better on such areas and get a helluvan amount of bliss, especially in the one right in the middle of your brain, which isn't really a classic chakra place at all, I don't think. It's not really the crown chakra or the third eye one. Hmmm? Does anyone know anything about what our anatomical scientists say about these areas, especially the one four fingerwidths below your navel? I didn't think so!