The Great Yoda Joe!

Ist, 00:22 a.m.
I'm going to run out of drugs quite soon. Maybe in ten minutes. Tomorrow I certainly won't have any, but I will have a humungous nicotine addiction. Fortunately, I'm training to be a jedi warrior and I hope my training helps me when the train hits the buffers.

This is a post for the spam robots who were too dumb to follow the five step programme in How to Get Out of YOur Face On Air. This is for the more physical among us ...

How are you training to be a jedi warrior, Hotboy? Well, Jack, since I got my back foot anchored, my tai chi is reaching new levels. When I'm attacked by the mutant zimmer frame vampires, I'll be able to run away now. Also, the flatheids don't like to hear about ra bliss, so we should stop that because they're never going to get the bliss anyway.

Also, to spontaneously strike back, one requires the calm mind. Boxers all know this. If you're thinking, you're funged. You have to look into their eyes. And when their eyes move, you move because they've started to move already.

Prince Naseem fought Antonio ... whoever ... and that boy fought like a jedi warrior. I couldn't see this fight ... and oh, how I wanted to see the Prince getting a doing ... but I saw it later. Totally concentrated, that boy was. Only two plates in his head at the time due to the aneurism thing, but ...

So the Antonio boy wasn't trying. He was doing. This requires great mental strength and resolution.

Of course, later on he had to fight the wee Phillipino, and against such talent there was no way to persevere and Antonio took a beating, but never blinked because that boy was a jedi warrior. I don't know how many plates he has in his head now.


Anyway, the walking meditator from Skye is quite right on this. You do it or you don't do it. No trying. Great resolution and mental strength is required.

What are you going to do when there's no soapbar and you can't drink and you don't smoke fags anyway, Hotboy? I think I will cry and cry and cry, Jack. You have to develope great determination and resolution to get through the first bit. After that, of course, there is just the increase in happiness. The tail of the New Year is still wagging. Mucho flatheids still to come. They don't want to hear about the bliss.

The first step in how to become a jedi warrior is to imagine a picture of the boy in the Turin Shroud and mutter Kyrie Eleison, Christi Eleison to yourself. Get it over your head and bring the juice down. Then tell yourself you're never going to hit anyone ever again.

The Poisonous has a kid of about eleven. She goes to a tim school. This is a wonderful thing because the great Holy Roman Catholic and Apostolic Church is the great bridge to Tibetan Buddhism. She knows the words of the Hail Mary. I think the next time I see her I'll offer her a pound for every ten minutes she can get the photie of the deid boy up on the computery thing and not look away, muttering the mantra. It won't help. She won't do it. If I told her it would turn her into a jedi warrior... well, flatheids aren't very aspirational. The bourgeois ones would all rather be accountants. Dearie me!