Blessings In Disguise!

Wednesday 3:39 p.m.
Weariness and lassitude seem to be the main components of this resurrection of the remnants of the previous disease. I didn't get out of bed today till the afternoon, but I'm not coughing and spluttering. Any disease is liable to be a little depressing, but I've just finished putting in an hour and a half in the lobby and, as I've said before, the bliss doesn't have the disease, depending on how your concentration is affected.

But your mind is bound to become calmer if you don't do alcohol or tobacco. I'd eat some soapbar, but I don't have any.

There's a chair I sometimes slump into in the kitchen. Proper practitioners don't even lie down to sleep. In retreat some of them never lie down. I think the lama said he let his students sleep for three hours, but sitting up. Anyway, last night the Domestic Bliss was out and I decided to sit up properly and do the juju ... this was after ten at night.

The chakra symbols were much more radiant than they had been at any other time of the day. I wish I knew why that was. I went into the lobby to get a bit more serious about it and when she did finally come in, at the back of midnight, I didn't stop immediately and say hullo like I usually do. I'm going to have to start coming out of these meditation properly, especially when they're coming on like that. Thank God the Dom Bliss is so tolerant of all this!

If you are interested in the great vajrayana, the juju of jujus, vase breathing methods, or anything to do with Buddhism, this blog is not a reliable source of information. If you meditated a bit and read a few books, you'd know as much as moi.

Spam robots who come to this blog regularly, (Hello, Jack!) may remember that sometimes I suffer from unasked for thoughts concerning the old ultraviolence ... like imagining nutting folk, and stabbing them, and poking their eyes out. Unfortunately, I reckon if you can think thoughts like that, you are more likely to be able to do such things. This is not reassuring. Anyway, it seems that Milarepa and Gampopa were disturbed during their meditations sometimes by "visions" of some kinds of nastiness.

Most folk can probably accept these days that there are some kind of channels in your body, like the meridians the accupuncturists use. I think there is proof that you can affect things by manipulating these meridians ... you can make folk sober up faster by encouraging their lungs to expel more alcohol ... but the Tantrayanists might tell you that thoughts seem somehow to be involved in these channels, or nadis. Milarepa told Gampopa that he was having a particular kind of nasty thought because of blockages in his channels.

Whenever a "vision" of viciousness in my mind when I'm meditating declines, immediately it's replaced by a big ooomph of bliss. Don't ask me why this happens. I don't know. Another reason to only believe in ignorance.

Now I will spend an hour or so, trying to begin writing this new novel which, or course, starts with some joe walking into a bar and stabbing someone ninety nine times in the head with a screwdriver. Do you think that will help diminish the unwanted thoughts about the old ultraviolence, Jack? It's getting dark, Hotboy. Go back and sit in the lobby till after five!