The old age!

Tuesday 11:05 p.m.
I don't do this stuff without the Dom Bliss very well. But she will come back tomorrow. Or the next day.

I had such fabulous bliss this evening for the two bit hours I spent in the lobby. Observing the bliss. It was fabuloso. But the volitional impulses ... I think I must have attached them to a false idea of self ... then I went to the off-license and bought some alk. Because, it seems, I have to be addicted to something.

It's like there's so much amazing bliss coming through that it doesn't matter what else you do. All the other things you do stop the bliss a bit, but what can you say when you can do all the other things and still get the bliss; resounding and increasing ... and the heat coming on. Maybe it's just that I can't face feeling totally wonderful. I have to walk along George Street tomorrow feeling not all that good because that's the way to do it. I could walk along there at seven forty feeling like God on Legs, but I don't know how I'm supposed to handle that really.

There's been a lot of chaos. Mental chaos. I like solid paths to walk along. This year there has been uncertainty. The dope supplies fell away. What do you do? I'm not very good at this. There is no steadiness, no stability. And what about the bliss, Jack? Tonight I did the three hours before going to the off-license. The bliss was amazing, and more amazing than ever before. But it was just bliss. You've got that, Hotboy. Why do the volitional impulses want anything else? Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss!