Samye Last Morning!

9:31 a.m.
Whilst waiting for the rain to go off so I could pack my tent.

Feeling pretty knackered here. I got a nudge from that which wriggles under the tent just before I went to sleep last night and then the downpour wakened me up through the night.

Satiation, contentment, completion .... I feel very good about the time I've spent here during this holiday, about fifteen or sixteen days. If I wasn't going to Skye ... that's always been sitting waiting like a great brooding toad at the end of the six weeks. I don't want to be home on Friday and then spending all day in the car on Saturday.

I'd like to find my tao, Jack. What is your tao, Hotboy? I don't know, Jack. Maybe that's why I can't find it. I think it might be something to do with Right Effort. And what you really want. Like everyone else I'd like to be happy. This might mean being happy with yourself and what you are thinking and doing.

I've spent a lot of time not writing over the last few years so I could try really hard at this Medicine Buddha juju, and I have made considerable progress. Among all the benefits, a heightened sexuality has been evident at times and, I suppose, most folk might think that was a benefit as well.

Maybe I just need a bit of a rest! A couple of good nights' sleep, but I think I should be going more straightforward calming meditations and analytical meditations. I get oodles of bliss. I need more emptiness. I need more non-self.

I was speaking to a retired joe a few days ago. Mentioned that to me Buddhism was about non-self and emptiness. He has no idea what I was talking about. Hearing about my friend getting the black spot (never having had the bliss!), has made me realise what a fortunate, fortunate creature I am.

I'm fed up retreated. Forward, forward! All my plans are simple!