Candlelight

Tuesday
The photie is from last night in the hut. I should be going to meditate with the nun on Mondays, but I prefer the hut since you can do the vase breathing there. Also, it doesn't cost anything. It's dark now by half seven at night.

Wrote a wee letter to Teresa down at the Samye Ling today to keep in touch. Was sober and straight last night and I'd like to be like that for the rest of my life. It's just hard to imagine enjoying the company of flatheids without getting out of your face. Well, it would be quite nice for half an hour!!! Then they might start telling you their problems and that's unfortunate since their problems are because they're flatheids and too dumb to meditate!!

At least, flatheids are useful if you need anything done. The kiddo's boyfriend is going to try and sort the computer in my room today. Most folk who can fix computers won't even tell you about it and are totally useless. Thank god for young people!!

The Heat

Monday
I took the photie last night while sitting in the hut. Just when it's getting dark is a very good time to meditate. Just posting since things have moved on again with the meditations and there is now a lot of warmth coming into the aftereffects of the vase breathing. There have been false dawns before, but I suspect we are really starting to motor now!

Hallelujah!

Saturday 10:10 p.m.
Whilst doing the bliss whilst listening to a scratch Handel's Messiah at the Usher Hall, the fact that the day has been a bit lousy didn't matter. The bliss that arose was fabulous. Sometimes I was imagining the face on the Turin Shroud. Brilliant! I am a Christian of course. Hallelujah!

Bye Bye!

Thursday 9:35 p.m.
The kiddo was on the train. The martians looked on. I was wearied today from running last night. The old, toothless one wants to jog for seventy minutes on Sunday. Have the defibrillator at hand, Jack!

Good and Bad Feelings

Tuesday 8:25 p.m.
I wakened up three times in a row at the weekend feeling happy. This is not usual, especially after three or four bottles of home brew the night before. You wake up with a kind of wee smile on your face. It can't be right, Jack. Definitely a bit odd.

Last night I lay in bed for a long time without going to sleep. Three hours maybe. But such was the depth of bliss and relaxation and general thoughtlessness that I didn't mind. Yoga nidra. It wasn't one of those anxious, can't get to sleep, tossing and turning routines. I think it's a wee touch of bliss coming through as I'm wakening up that's making me feel happy first thing.

Of course, once I got to the jobbie ... the Tuesday didn't feel all that different from what the Monday usually feels like. I'm going to do a wee bit on the re-write now. Got an incentive today, so I did!!

The photie was taken at the start of my meditations in the hut this evening.

Autumn Now!

Monday 7:15 p.m.
I've done enough diggings to stop the council sending us nippy letters about the state of the allotment. The grass edges have been trimmed. So the work's really done for this year. Tomorrow I'll change my summer jacket for the winter one and go back to my jobbie for the first time since last Monday. Tuesday, then Wednesday morning and then I'm off again. Hurrah!

I've started the re-write for sure now and have a first chapter. Since my secret agent hasn't contacted me to tell me otherwise, I assume he's still trying to sell the McCoy book. It's a year since he started trying to sell it so I guess it's not going to sell now. So I've started re-writing another one.

With the Cyclists book, and the travel book, and theBlissBook, I was trying to develope a personal writing style. Where storylines might be said to follow linear pattern like on a graph, I was trying to write something more like a layered cake. Threads interlinking, weaving and ultimately not being at all successful. So I'm going to re-write xxBomber as a crime book. I worked out the plotline in 1979. I've decided to give the main character in it now the back story of the guy from the Revenge of the Traffic Wardens, so I can use the character again if I get the first one published. Which I most probably won't. But I'll enjoy thinking about it and re-writing it.

I'm allowed to retire in a couple of years. I'd absolutely love not to have to go to work. If I could get a book published in the next two years ....dream on!

I went the five hills run tonight. Slow, but I enjoyed it. Forty minutes. Dearie me! For the last month or so I've been going out running twice a week with the toothless, old one. So this summer I've gotten back into running. Hurrah! Let's hope I get back down to eleven stone before Christmas.

Back Home!

Friday 4:35 p.m.
While the staffordshire bull terriers in the cages in the back garden of them next door who've neither worked nor wanted yapped and whined, the auld maw was telling me about how the son of Mr W. had "bottled" the son of Mr L.. Three of Mr L's other sons went round to the house of Mr W. and stabbed him and his two sons, but only Mr W. required hospital treatment. It's useful sometimes to come from a big family, so it is.

Having lost practically all of yesterday to flatheids (Oh, my wonderful Thursday!), I was a bit crabbit today, but that didn't matter. When we were listening to the lama on a CD, great oddles of the bliss were arising and some heat. Despite moi, progress is still going on!!

The flatheid told me that if you could get the bliss, rapture and ecstasy by taking a pill, he'd take it. If you had to do something like meditate, he wouldn't bother. The grief, sorrow, lamentations ... delusions, disappointments and despair .. suffering in this life is what he thinks existence is about. Of course, he does take heavy duty anti-depressants already.

What can I do about flatheids, Jack? Get a gun, Hotboy. Either that or beg the Alien Creatures from Outer Space to take you back to your own planet, the one where there are no flatheids and the women all show great enthusiasm, and don't complain about the mess!