Wednesday 10:00 p.m.
In the heathen schools, they don't mind much about how short the girls skirts are, much to the delight of the dirty old men. How their mothers let them go out the door like that I do not know.
So the senior member of staff is hustling this sixth year girl about the length of her skirt. Is that not a bit short? No. Would you feel comfortable bending down in that? Yes, says the girl, bending down and touching her toes. She was facing away from me at the time.
A wee while later, this other schoolgirl rushes into my office ... well, it's a glass box .. and does a kind of petulant indignant thing. So tells me to look at that, and hands me a mobile phone.
It's only a few times that I've had one of those things in my hand because they give you cancer.
So I looks at it for a bit and hands it back. It's a mobile phone, I says. No, read it, she says. There's some murkiness of vision then the message seems clear. I would like to fung you all night long, it said.
I think I should run a competition on what I said to this. YOu could choose from the following:
I would like to fung you all night long too, babes, or
If you'd like to run away with me, I've got a hut, or
I'm old enough to be your grandfather.
Of course, I said: Is this a text thing? Never claimed to be up on the technology me
The guy who sent the text thing is completely glaikit. Very nice and smart, but has some kind of glaikit syndrome. Stop sending obscene messages to people, I shout out at him. She started it, he says, the huge shiny smile, gurgling away there, cringeing in sensuous delight. I bet she did too.
I don't have to go to work tomorrow. Thank you, God! Thank you, God! Oh, thank you, God!
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10 comments:
Obviously more fun than should be allowed human beings.
Marie: I went to a single sex school. Unfortunately, all boys! Hotboy
Hotters. Which god are you thanking this week? If it's the one that created short skirts, sign me up now.
The single sex school explains everything. You're just like me.
Albert? We were teenagers when the mini skirt came in. How did we ever survive that? Hotboy
I say!
Trousers for women were banned here in Malawi for many years, as were short skirts. Quite right, too.
MM III
Hotters. In my case, domestic beatings and deferred gratification helped, but how did you manage it?
My method of dealing with teenage sexuality is to text the number of Caledonian Youth (this used to be Brook Advisory Service) to all I feel may benefit.
The number is 0131 229 3596.
However, they may sack you from a pape school if you follow suit.
My word verification here seems peculiarly apposite- 'eeosxo'
ion - Albert tells me the Brook people turned him down for a vivisection when he was 17 and nervous about impregnating an under-age hells-angel mama, but they may have improved with the name change.
I mean vasectomy.
I went to an all girls school. It wasn't pretty. When you separate the sexes it brings out meanness. Especially in girls.
Teenagers are the reason some animals eat their own young.
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