Thursday 18 September 2008

A Dog's Life

Friday 10:20 a.m.
To Whoever Owns the Dogs.

Dear Sir/Madam,
I was attacked by your big black dog this morning on my way to work. The dog was with a youth and another dog, a small white one, in the lobby when I first encountered them. Since it was apparent that the dog was not completely under control, I asked the youth to take it outside so I could get out. He took the dogs onto the pavement, but when I opened the outside door, the dog lunged at me and tried to bite my upper arm. It do not break the skin, but left tears in my jacket, which fortunately is padded.

How would you feel if this happened to you?

The youth said the dog sometimes took against people.

I have people, including children, coming to visit me soon. I do not want them to encounter a dangerous dog in the stairway when they visit. If you want to keep a mad dog in your flat, that's your business, but if it's liable to attack people on the stairway, which evidently it is, I think it should be muzzled, at least when it's there.

I should like some reassurance about this. My telephone number is ....Please call me this evening. If it's on the answering machine, please leave a message.
Yours sincerely,
Hotboy

I go to see the auld maw now. Tonight the Domestic Bliss is going out for a meal and I can meditate the evening away in the lobby. What a fortunate creature I am, I am! What a fortunate creature I am!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I say!

I'm frightfully sorry to hear that the dog cried on your jacket.

It would not happen to moi, I would follow the advice I left on your last post.

MM III

Anonymous said...

I say!

If you need a new jacket for a special occasion, I can recommend Moss Bros.

MM III

Hotboy said...

Mingin'! Mad Dogs, ya bass! is what it cried, of course. Hotboy

ion said...

Ah, the utility, simplicity and beauty in a well-formulated letter of complaint...

Hotboy said...

Ion: I'd hate getting a letter of complaint about anything. I'm a big softie really and do not like giving offense except to fascists. Actually, that covers a lot of basturns!

rob said...

I once had to go to an office party at Maddogs, and it was bad enough even in those days.

If you don't get satisfaction, I can send them a letter from here threatening to set the dingos on them. It can only help.

Hotboy said...

Albert? I went into Maddogs once, but left when I was told Princess Margaret had been in there. Did they mistake you for her? Hotboy

rob said...

I would have failed the alcohol test.