थिस thismalfunctions

Monday 1:45 p.m.
As I write this, my secret agent is awaitng news from various publishers about two of my novels, xxLightInTheDarkx and xxTheRealMcCoyxx. Both of these books are available, along with four other, unpublished novels on my webpage, Alison Main's Writings and you can clicky on it here.

My secret agent thinks I only write books about people sitting meditating in caves, but one of the books on my webpage (xxBomberxx) is about crime in a way. At least, folk get shot and blown up, and commit crimes in it. There hardly seems much point in writing another crime book when I can't get the literary agent to look at the first one, but I'm going to start writing another crime book because I actually enjoy writing novels, and I'm not writing one at the moment.

Whenever I have been able, I have genuinely tried to write something that might do somebody some good. Nobody is in the slightest bit interested, so I'm going to write a crime book. I should go and read some more crime books, but I haven't got the time. Here's how my crime book is going to start, so far anyway.

A traffic warden walks into a small, south London bar. He takes out a gun and shoots dead two men sitting at a table on either side of another man. This third man is shot and wounded. The traffic warden then takes out a sharpened screw driver and start to stab the wounded man in the head, in the time honoured frenzied fashion. He stabs him 97 times including several times through both eyes. Due to the severity of the stabbing, there is a hole in the man's skull big enough to put your hand into. The traffic warden starts to scoop out some of the brains and scatter them around the pub, on the walls, etc. He stands up and shouts: Traffic Wardens, ya bass! repeatedly at the top of his voice. Two other traffic wardens rush in and pull the killer out of the pub, him still screaming Traffic Wardens, ya bass! at the top of his lungs.

Ya bass, of course, places the killer as someone from the west of Scotland and is vital to the plot!!

I have to say how well the Statscounter.com folk have been treating me. I failed to add a code to the whatsits and just emailed them with the username and password (and reading recommendations regarding Alison Main), saying I was too old to work this stuff. So they did it themselves. Had to have two goes since I was in a bit of a delicate state when I emailed them originally and gave them the wrong passwords. Terrific support service. I think they were Indians.

Unfortunately, the statistics said that 15 folk hit this bloggy today and that has got to be the phonus balonus! I think most of those hits must be spam robots and alien creatures, like the cyberspider. Nice folk them Indians anyway.